Being a Middle Child

Well, I’m 17, about to turn 18 (I think all of you know how exciting the prospect of being an adult is, especially when you’re the middle child), and I absolutely distaste being the middle child. But I love it at the same time.

I have a sister who is 3 years older than me, and a little brother who is 2 years younger than me. I basically help raise my brother, and I’m my sister’s person to lean on when she has problems. Same applies to my mom.  I think she looks at me as more as her confidant than her daughter, in all honesty.

But anyway, I have always been slightly independent, because I think my mom just assumes I can take care of myself, therefore I never get the support I want, or need. Right now, I’ve been out of school for two years. I dropped out in 10th grade, and now I would be graduating in 5 months if I hadn’t dropped out. I’m looking into getting my GED before I turn 18 so  I can feel a little bit accomplished, but it’s like my mom refuses to help me, even though when she was my age she got her GED. I think that she compares me to my sister, who is 20, with a high school diploma and working for a law firm. She has everything going for her. And my brother, he’s not the brightest. He’s a jock, on the football team, and insanely cocky. I can’t stand him the majority of the time. But my mom has big hopes for him, and tells him all the time.

Not once has anyone in my family (save my grandma, bless her heart. I love her so much. She’s my biggest supporter,) has ever just told me that they’re proud of me. I know that there’s nothing really to be proud of, but I think you get the gist.

I started looking for some attention outside of my family, since I’m not getting any, and found my best friend Tay, and for the last 4 years I’ve spent every summer, Christmas, spring and thanksgiving break with her and her family. I love her mom and little sister, and her mom treats me just like I’m her own daughter,and I love it cause I’m finally getting the attention I honestly crave. My mom doesn’t like Tay, but I refuse to budge on my friendship, because, hey, she’s not giving me attention and Tay and her family are.

I have a little problem with my uncle, who just so happens to be my mom’s closest sibling. We argue constantly, and he’s always grinding at my very last nerve. No one ever stands up for me when he yells at me for no reason, so I stand up for myself, and end up getting in trouble for doing so. I think it’s stupid, but no one seems to agree with me. My mom won’t even stand up for me, and that really does hurt..

Also, I bet you’re wondering about my dad. Haha. He’s not in the picture. He never has been. I know his name. Benjamin Gulsmith. If you know him, tell him his long lost daughter said hi.

I envy my brother and sister for that very fact; they know their dads. We all have different dads, and my brothers dad just came into his life a year ago, and he’s insanely happy. I try to be, because I know that no one cares how jealous I am, but I can’t be happy for him no matter how hard I try.

I just don’t understand how life could seriously just be this unfair, that my entire family (but, like earlier, except for my grandma, she’s always been there for me) is so against me. My mom always used to yell at me for having a bad attitude. Well yeah. Anyone would have a bad attitude if you’re an 8 year old kid getting your 6 year old brother breakfast every morning and getting him dressed and bathed every day of his life till he got old enough to take care of himself.

I am so ecstatic about turning 18, because I can move out and make my own rules, and decide for myself. I am a pretty independent person, so living on my own won’t be too hard on me.

There are perks to being the middle child, but one down-side was definitely that basically my whole child hood was taken from me because I had to take care of my little brother, and ended up having to grow up to fast, to soon.

I’m sorry I rambled so much; it was just so nice to get this off my chest! Thank you if you read all of this, and if you’re a middle child, I’ll pray for you. It sucks, but we’re stronger than we seem, right?

– Megan

8 thoughts on “Being a Middle Child

  1. I’m the middle child living in Singapore, and it is honestly really challenging living as the middle child in an Asian country.
    Asians always look at results, achievements, talents etc. it’s like we are running a freak show circus to see who is insane enough to keep up with this rat race.
    My older sister is three years older than me, she is bright, pretty, outstanding academically and has a charming personality.she hosts an Internet tv show that youths all around the country watch. So she’s like a mini celeb here. She’s also in the honors role in her university.
    My younger sister has been blessed with a sweet and nurturing personality that everyone adores.She is often praised for her good looks and her academic excellence.She managed to enter the best secondary school in the country through her PSLE results( a national exam taken when you’re 12)
    Having two siblings that are the “miss perfects” it’s hard to even breathe in such a stifling environment.
    For one, I am dyslexic, which makes it twice as hard to excel because I learn so differently from everyone. I’ve been struggling to even get decent results. I used choir as an exterior merit to appeal to junior college because I screwed up o levels ( national exam you take when you’re 16).even when I worked my ass off for PSLE, I still ranked the lowest in the family.
    Choir is a big part in my family. All three of us are in choir. But unlike the two, I don’t have a passion for it.i was forced to join it because my parents though it would look good on my track record. Now in junior college everyone compares me to my older sister, who was a member three years back. Even when I do performances, most of the audience would rate me against her. It sucks because she always is better than me, and I end up losing all the time.
    As a result, I always feel inadequate about my abilities because I know I’m not good at anything. I end up fulfilling my role in the family as the one that does the house work because there’s really nothing else I can do.
    People also compare our looks. And without a doubt I rank the lowest. With monolids and a low nose bridge I look less attractive than the other two with huge eyes and decent noses. I also have chubby cheeks which makes me look fat. The elders have said really harsh and insensitive comments about my looks and I spend most of the time looking at pretty girls on tumblr to pass time while they swoon over the other two.
    No one really remembers who I am. They know who I’m related to and I am always xx’s sister or xx’s daughter, if I’m lucky enough they know I’m the second child instead of confusing me with the first.
    I’m really tired of being the middle child. I wish there was a cure to this

  2. im doing an interview on people who have MCS so reading your guys story realy helped a lot hopefuly more people put new story up or you guys give more information i thing being the middle child is hard but i think that at the end the middle child ends up having a better life and treat there kids way better because they know the feeling of being left out so plz keep bloging

  3. Hi
    I had such a sense of deja vu and i am fifty, I too longed for attention and i was also a rebel, had to take care of a younger sister and resented it hugely. i also had a brother ten years older who would control me sneer at me and tease me and scare me. Naturally i had an unnaturally strong attachment to my grandmother that my mother resented. Rebound, married the first man who gave me the attention I craved leading to some codependency that I see but haven’t been able to address. Like crazygirl all I feel still is being unheard . I made sure I did not have more than one child—– shower her with attention, and am asked how I made such a independent humourfull intelligent child. And I go in my head: by giving her all the love and attention and forgiveness and kindness that I craved. Not necessarily by buying her goodies, not by necessarily giving in to her all the time. But by making sure she feels listened to.

  4. Im a middle child and my mom,dad and stepdad sometimes treat me like shit I meen just cause I have a boyfriend I can’t do nothing that’s like locking me up in a cage without the love of my life.I honestly feel left out on a lot of stuff, but that dosnt stop me from living the life I want. The other reason I think they treat me like that is because my personality im emotional and to make it more specific im “emo”,life is not easy I could tell u that but u can’t turn back that all I got to say bye.PS.my names rose and my bf name is Jorge <3 thanks bye!!!!!!!!!!

  5. Megan, I loved reading this. I love that I stumbled across it while joking around in the office about my middle child personality.
    My life is a mirror image of yours, I like you do not know my father. But either does my older brother and younger sister. My brother is 2 yrs older than me and there’s a nice 10.5 yrs between me and my little sister. I love my family dearly but hate that I had to grow up so quickly when my sister was born. All I ever wanted from my mum was her attention and she couldn’t give it to me, so I rebelled. Oh boy did I rebel. I ran away from home numerous time at the ages of 13-16 and refused to come home, was suspended from school on many occasions, stole, got into fights and I’m plenty more but I wont go on.
    I was 17 when I decided what and how I wanted to live my life. I moved out of home, became completely independent and rented my own place. I didn’t do so well in school, not good enough to get into University anyway. But I applied through a short course that gave me an equivalent grade that allowed me to apply to do a degree (..I’d look into it a bit more and see what other options are out there, and there are a lot of people that will help you find the best way for you..).
    I’m now 24, almost 25. I am still doing my studies to be a primary school teacher, I took some time off to work full time and do some fitness certificates. I now work full time, although I am just about to start maternity leave to have my first baby (..with someone who treats me like a princess and gives me nothing but attention..) and I am finishing my Teaching degree by distance education.
    Life is what you make of it. You have the right attitude to do what ever you want and know what kind of people to surround yourself with.
    I wish you nothing but luck, its not easy doing it by yourself but well and truly worth it. I wouldn’t change a thing I’ve done (.. that includes the stupid boyfriends I picked up along the way..).
    The best thing.. Now I have an amazing relationship with my mum, she is my best friend. Me and my brother are closer than ever. And I spoil my little sister, she is such a funny character we are like best friends. She can turn to me when ever she needs to and I know she’s going to make one amazing Auntie (..even though she actually hates babies..).
    Don’t resent your mum for how life is, it was hard for my mum raising 3 kids as a single parent, its made me appreciate a lot of the things she did do for me.
    I believe in some elements of middle child syndrome. I read it more for a laugh because I have such a loud vibrate personality compared to my family who are quiet and reserved.

    Always remember.. Life is what you make of it. Not what other people have planned for you. Do what makes you happy and you will succeed.

  6. Well im new to the blogging scene and im nor even sure if im doing this right but i just wanted u to know that there is someone out here who feels ur pain.. I am 47 and am jus now learning of MCS i never knew about it but it was some of the best news ive heard in years… Ill tell u why.. Cuz im always accused of being crazy and the articles ive read have actually VALIDATED ME and my thoughts and feelings.. Im glad u r younger and u will have a better chance at strengthening ur neglects.. I am numer five of six kids.. The baby has a diff dad also so i got pushed aside and picked on.. No body has ever stood up for me in my life !! Im basically on my own but if somebody else needs stickin up for boy they r right there.. And they even stand up for them against me!! They say im brash and i could hurt peoples feelings.. Well the way i look at it is some people need their feelings hurt to become better people wouldnt u say?? Ive gone so many years being unheard and still do to this day its an endless cycle.. So im very vocal now.. If u need to b vocal then b vocal MAKE THEM HEAR AND LUSTEN TO U OR jus shine them on as they do u… I jus wanted u to know that YOU ARE IN FACT VALIDATED !!!

    1. My life is miserable, my mom has 9 kids. nd im the middle child. I fouded out that i was the middle child from my cuz. My sis nd her were makin fun of me nd started sayin i had middle child syndrome. And i’m only 12 just turned 12 too. My mom nd dqd always fight. My dad went to jail for 6 years. My sis nd bro has adhd i think theh have that cuz my mom smoked when they were in her stomach. I always think bout runin away. But i dont but my life is gettin so much better but theres one more thing my sis is always pickin onn me so wish me a goood luck

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