Independent Middle Child

I’m a boy, in between my brother who is 9 years older than me and my sister who is 3 years younger than me. My brother was a bully since he was a lot bigger than me. He likes to tease and disturb me until I broke down to tears. When I cried, he would force me to run back and forth across the street until I stop crying because he was afraid that my parents would know. He always makes me cook breakfast for him and he left me with a very small portion of the breakfast. Sometimes, he tickled me until I peed in my pants.

My sister was spoiled by my parents. I always get scolded even when it was her fault. If I touched her stuff she will start screaming at me and my father scolded me so bad because of that. My father always shouts to me with his loud voice when I cried. He didn’t want to hear me cry or even sobbing, else I will get scolded with his lion roaring voice. Once, I had a long shower he was mad about it and he locked me in the dark store room; naked. I had told my sister a funny thing, and she plagiarized it to my parents. My parents were so amazed with her sense of humor and even until now when they talk back about it. It annoys me so much.

I was the one who do all the house chores; laundry, sweep the floor, reheat the dish that I bought for lunch, walk my sister to school and everything, you name it, just because my sister is too young and my brother is too lazy.

I shared my room with my brother once but that didn’t last long. He harassed me by asking me to do something that a 5years old child not supposed to know yet. I was afraid of him, I slept with my parents ever since. My parents didn’t even ask me why.

On the age of 13, I felt left out ever since I went to boarding school for 5 years. Right after school, about a week gap, I was brought to college until present. I feel much more left out when my sister is closed to my mother and my brother is closed to my father. I am an adult now and I can’t even make a real conversation with my father.

I had a friend who backstabbed me and I told my mother and seek for her advice. My father came to know about it and he unmotivated me by asking me to work on my attitude and find more friends. He said my sister and brother wouldn’t have problem finding friends.

I am a loner due to my childhood experience. I constantly feel that everybody doesn’t like me and low self-esteem. One good thing is that I have learned how to be independent.

– Anonymous

7 thoughts on “Independent Middle Child

  1. 16a64lauren3521eHi Sara, thank you for writing in. I aclutlay have not come across research indicating that, but you are experiencing a change in hormones that may influence your desire. For example, when your testosterone levels rise, which they most likely have, that causes an increase in your libido. As for the desire for a baby, read this, it may help shed some light on your situation. 12b

  2. I experienced it either, I have older sister 8 years older than me. She has all the privileges, praises, credits, and shes the most favorite. Although she doesnt beat
    me up like others. My younger brother gets what he wants all the time, and hes only 2 years younger than me -___- And I also get scolded several times even though I did all the works. Find close friends that will comfort you, and prioritize your goals and dreams.

  3. sorry Independent Middle Child.
    wrong post for it was to previous post”The Black Sheep”
    I also read your story, not online but on paper.
    I can totally feel you friend.
    I have two older brother and one younger sis.
    pretty much Im the youngest to the guy but some how Im end up as a middle child. Its tough, rough. but hey we are here.
    lets share ours thought.
    I think you done a marvelous deeds friend. and you know it for yourself well then anyone els here on this surface of the earth.

    Friend, where are they?
    don’t seek outside, look within.
    really sometime in my mind, like today.
    I thought ” i was born alone, you are here alone.
    of course DIE alone.
    so who do you really need or depend upon. none other then YOU!
    If you don’t mind me saying this.
    You’re independent. maintant that.
    I can relate to your words remind me of me. :)
    Lion rooooooar!
    hey it seem like his roar turn you into a lion instead wont you say?
    that is a good positive side of this.
    You’re not alone friend.
    dont feel bad about yourself.
    or have low self esteem why?
    why care of what people say or think?
    and why do you feel or think people dont like you?
    I too sometime feel like my family dont like me.
    there are different between ours words.
    people don’t really hurt me, but my family do.
    There are people that hurt me, for then don’t know any better.
    They may get what’s coming.
    Just know it, be good and continue doing it.
    as we all try to and strive.
    may peace of mind be with you!

    take cares

    peace!

    Heaven

  4. Agree
    Yes Kevin, very well said!
    You, I, and we are not alone.
    But look at us now, we are doing well.
    In health wise and ours life. at lest we try to!
    Lorri you’re a great mother/grand and daugther.
    if ever you get to read this. I’d like to know how are you?
    Time has passes and now its 2012 since you last wrote Black Sheep.
    I hope you well.
    Keep your mind with the present. for the past is horrible for the black sheep. if its think about the good past its fine, if its think to much and get attach to it, you’ll be depress or sadden. Please stay here with your family at this moment. whom loves you. be healthy. so all around your family will to be happy and healthy. Project whats good. think whats good. Your husband is always there for you. Speaking of your husband. You’re older brother is a joke! kinda hurt a little bit to hear that from a stranger. I know sorry.
    Not having them means no headache. heartache. or heart broken.
    You have your family. that’s blessing.
    I’m in your past right now. old mother is getting old but worse then ever!!!! Im sorry for everything. (to the world)
    *sighs* A zebra without a strip.
    good things the worst older dude isnt living here.
    that would be hell! for We are close to hell and far from heaven.
    but Heaven is here on earth.
    Heaven is pleasent, but still have defilement.
    still do wrong. still say wrong things. even when right.
    Truly we all seek for happyness.
    we must do it in the right way. dont take joy seeing others hurt for your own happyness that’s wrong doing!
    we must realize at all time. Are we fed up with the people? not just yet.
    there are good people out there, just rare. (Family is also people, merge out to become people)
    we will never change. if we do.
    we change but ours title remain. The Black Sheep.

    Peace!

    Heaven

  5. Life is difficult for us middle children but being independent is something we learn because of that and that will make us stand out from the rest. My eldest sister is 9 years older than me and she’s really bossy. I hate it when she ask me to do the chores she was assigned to and nags me around all the time. I also have another sister who’s 4 years younger than me and she’s my mom’s favorite. She gets what she wants all the time and I’m always the bad girl, always the black sheep where in fact I’m the one who always do things around for them. For me learning to love yourself and standing on your own feet will be the greatest things you’ll ever learn.

  6. Kudos. The same thing with me. I have an older sister who always nags at me to do stuff, and loves beating me up . and a brother who gets spoiled and babied:/ I hate being with people most of the time,& I’m a loner myself. Just stay strong. Being independent is one thing we middle children know best. Stay Strong :)

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