Do You have Middle Child Syndrome?

So you’re a middle child, but how do you know you have Middle Child Syndrome? We have creatively collected this survey from a list of the most common symptoms seen in an individual with Middle Child Personality. The survey is composed of questions that are arranged in in a scale from mild to dangerous symptoms.

The 10 Symptoms
(Answer Truthfully!)

  1. Do you feel alienated from your family?

  2. Do you feel alienated from your friends?

  3. Do you often lock yourself inside your room?

  4. Ever felt used by friends?

  5. Do you get easily depressed from criticism?

  6. Have you ever dreamed of something but didn’t have the courage to pursue it?

  7. Do you feel envy and even hatred towards your parents or siblings?

  8. Have you ever done things just to be accepted or noticed by others?

  9. Did you feel that you were pushed to achieve things that you did not enjoy your childhood?

  10. Ever felt that you did not belong and no one loves you and the world will be better without you?

Meaning of my scores: Count the number of YES‘s to the questions above

0-3 Congratulations! You’re perfectly normal.

4-5 You just suffer low self-esteem. Nothing weird, go fix your hair and you will do fine.

6-8 Do not be scared. It seems you have mild Middle Child Personality. Self-help and guidance will often cure the condition.

9-10 Unfortunately, you suffer a severe condition of Middle Child Syndrome, try not to do anything rash. Emotional support from love ones along with psychiatric help will solve this.

48 thoughts on “Do You have Middle Child Syndrome?

  1. I got 9/10.
    I am 13 years old and I’m in my room crying right now for something my older sister did. My mom yelled at me and told me not to bother my sister, when it was the other way around. As my mom said this my sister was standing behind her laughing. I always lock myself in my room on my iphone talking to my friends who seem like the only ones who care but I can’t tell them either about my problem. Whenever I leave the room my mom starts yelling at ke about always being in the room and not talking to the family and I always yell back that I hate you all… My mom only likes to talk to my older sister about everything and yet she expects me to join the conversation. Yesterday I was looking at baby pictures and the whole album was filled with her pictures with a few of mine. My parents didn’t even celebrate my first birthday like they did with my sister and my younger brother. My dad loves my brother he most because he’s the youngest. He’s already 10 yet he’s still treated like a baby. He gets everything he wants just by asking for it. They even give him all of my stuff even if I protest just by saying “oh he’s your younger brother. He’s still a child.” I get good grades on test yet no praises unlike my sister who didn’t even get into a good highschool yet she gets a laptop. I have suicidal thoughts but am too much of a coward to actually comity suicide. I want my life to end…and I know I probably sound like an attention freak but will it kill my parents just to pay a little attention to me

    1. I know what it feels like … I’m 14 btw … We’re on the same boat. I know this is stupid, but just wait … Give it sometime it’ll be okay. You really should try talking to someone, it will help. Remember that you have friends and they DO care about you … Good luck

    2. It’s like that in family. I’m twelve. My siblings really care for each other. My brother is 15, my sister is9. They gang up on me, though. My mom only yells at me. The only one who cares is my dad, and he’s only home on Saturday, and I don’t see him then.

  2. No one in my family calls or writes me. But only if they need something. Always feel left out. I am always reaching out to my family, but they think that why i feel this way is because according to them I take it to personal. Well I am tired of begging for there love and attention. I am 33 and still feel pushed asied. Oh well right.

  3. YES 9 OUT of 10 feel the exact same way my parents walk all over laugh at me talk about me as if im not there i had sucidal thoughts…but so what they want care or notice if im gone…now i just focus on me believing in god and know he can make a way . he is my light no matter what my family or anyone thinks it only matters what God thinks ! so so what to what other people have to say about me its time i do me tired of being stuck in this nutshell and place of a hell-hole!

  4. 9 0ut of 10… I am the middle child out of three- my older sister, and then my younger half brother. I live with my mum and my stepdad, because my dad is an alcoholic and a drunk, and every time I go round there, I get abused.
    I am currently 16, my sister is 17 (nearly 18) and my brother is 11. We are all what you may call a “clever family” as we all go to grammar schools.
    My sister has always been the favourite of my mum… she looks exactly like her and acts exactly like her. She is also this genius, and she has had a University offer from Cambridge, where, as long as she gets the grades, she will be going next year. Obviously the whole of my family is delighted and she has everyone congratulating her… this is exactly like when she passed the 11+, although when I passed it, I got less than half the amount of praise that she did. Now, my mum and stepdad are continuously comparing me to her, saying that I’m never going to achieve that and I am wasting my life away (I find it really hard to concentrate and am not doing as well in school as they like, although I am trying my hardest)
    Now my brother, he is in year 7, and is doing really badly at school. He has been put on report and is continuosly being told off at school. However, my mum has a feeble “talk with him” and my stepdad always manages to turn the conversation to me, so that instead of getting my brothers act together, he has a go at me and picks on me, until I am in tears and my brother is somewhere in the background smirking. My mum and my stepdad always are telling my brother to look at my sister and then at me and choose who he would rather be like- of course my brother always chooses my sister….. this creates a lot of rivalary between my brother and me as well as my sister.
    Whenever something happens, I am always the first one to be blamed. I suppose I try and get attention on me, as I am on antidepressants as well as having been diagnosed as anorexic 3 years ago.
    I tried talking to my family, but they always told me I was talking rubbish and that they love each and everyone of us equally- but they are talking rubbish because it is evident from everything that goes on that I am left out. On many occasions I have been told by my brother and sister that I am a waste of space, and that why do I even continue living at the house when I am making everyones life unhappy and that it would be better if I was gone.
    I’m completely fed up with everything at the moment, especially as I have my GCSEs soon and I just feel so depressed and upset that I can’t cope anymore. I can’t wait to get out of this life and for it to be my time to go to Uni…
    Before you start thinking it… I’m not suicidal or anything… I’m just longing for my life to hurry up until I can leave.

  5. I got 9 out of 10, so…I suppose writing could help.
    My older brother is a pot head and has two DUIs on his record that need to be paid. Mom insists on paying it while he sits at home getting high. Shes aware of his issues and it pisses her off, but instead of acting rationally, she takes it out on me. My younger sister is an academic prodigy and im always compared to her. Ive never been very good in school and even when try my hardest, im met with a D at best and ridiculed from my family. Ive tried different outlets to get noticed, but nothing worked. Ive done MMA, Drumline, Guitar, Automotive classes, Racing, photography, but no one really cared. I dont know, maybe im just being a pansy, but it really feels like im getting shafted on everything. I tried once to talk with other family members, but all they told was that I should be more understanding or even some bullsh*t like its my fault im the way I am. Ive never had suicidal thoughts or anything but I have felt alone 90% of my childhood/highschool years. I dont know if this is normal, but Im glad im not alone in this.

  6. Me, i got 9/10 and its really depressing because #10 got to me cause i feel it 24/7. I just don’t know what to do, I’m a timid person and not courage’s or anything like that. I find my joy in Video games but I have to let it go now since im becoming a “failure” to my fathers eye *direct words he use to me also worthless and retarded*. Its hard for me to even ask them to use the computer because u never know what my parents would say and do. Is there any online counseling or guide advice to help 13 BTW (haven’t got a B-day prezz since i was 11 and my little sister actually got a new game on my birthday)

    1. well, Middle kids get it tough so I know what you mean, Though I am the middle sister of an older sis and younger twin, I do feel left out too. One christmas all I wanted was a new video camera while my twin wanted this weird type of flip cameras and other stuff I didn’t really care about. The stuff I didn’t care about was what I got too just a different color. My parents didn’t even care to listen to what I had to say. One thing against a whole list created by my sister. Why? That sounded greedy I know but it never was a tradition for all three of us to get each other birthday presents and this year we made it happen. I went all out feeling happy that i was going to get them stuff for their birthday. I got them three things they really wanted no matter the price. I only got a pillow pet from a CVS for my birthday and my older sister didn’t even get me anything but gave addy a cool t shirt. Later addy complained that I gave her nothing that she wanted when I gave her the three things she asked for. Nobody seems to remeber that it is not just the younger and older siblings

    1. I got 8/10. I always feel lonely. I don’t know why they don’t care. I am the 2nd oldest of 4. Sometimes I get things that the others don’t, but most times I don’t even get asked what I want, or how I feel about certain things in my own life…

  7. I know not every middle child relates to middle child syndrome, but I for one, do. So hear me out.

    My older sister is brilliant, and has always been the first to do everything. She started trying to crawl at just a few weeks, walking after a few months, she got her GED at the age of 14, she took her SAT’s right afterwords, she went to collage at the age of 16… I think you get my point. She’s always been my Dad’s favorite.
    My younger brother is very spoiled. He is rather smart in his own right, but he gets a new video game almost every month. Almost every shopping trip he gets candy, soda, chips, sometimes even cake (which he is never forced to share). He is loud, and obnoxious, but never, ever gets into trouble… ect. He has always been my mother’s favorite, and he is the only one she has ever read bedtime stories to, played card games with, and talks to (aside from my Dad)
    I, am the middle child.
    I spent the first few months of my life in a baby swing, I didn’t learn how speak until I was 5 years old, since no one talked to me. My birthday has been forgotten several times now, once my parents forgot to get me a Christmas present, and I once actually forgot my name, for almost a year.
    I’ve spent the majority of my childhood sitting in my room, or in a corner. Alone. Drawing. All day. Every day.
    I’ve never managed to make a friend, since my older sister or younger brother are both loud, outgoing, and in the spotlight. While I get the honorary pleasure of following them around silently, watching them as they play games.
    My parents rarely, if ever, talk to me or even look at me. I’m tripped over, stepped on, and constantly ‘in the way’.
    I started self-harming when I was 6, and I managed to stop when I was 15. My parents didn’t notice the cuts, scratches, and scars until I was 15, at which point they pinned the problem on hormones and teenager stuff, instead of the emotional neglect that was going on.
    When I was 10, my dance teacher actually talked to me. I was so happy that I started crying my eyes out. Afterwords, she didn’t talk to me again. Even so, I still wished each and every day that she was my mother.
    After a few months I got a new dance teacher… I’ve never been so upset, and sad, in my entire life. I cried for days.
    Academically, I’m terrible. Some might even say I am stupid. I will probably never be able to go to collage, and I may not even be able to pass my GED. All I can do, and the only thing in my life that has actually BEEN THERE for me, is art. Painting, drawing, has been my one, and ONLY comfort in the world. I can count the times I have ever been hugged, comforted, and loved, with one hand.
    I have a low-self esteem, and little self-worth to say the least… but I have also had panic attacks, anxiety attacks, short periods of psychosis, phobias, eating disorders, social anxiety, malnutrition, depression, suicidal thoughts, homicidal thoughts, attachment issues, identity issues, gender identity issues, sexual identity issues, social identity issues… The list goes on.
    Sometimes I get so lonely, I throw up.
    I have, what I would call a severe case of middle-child syndrome. 9/10, simply because on question #9, no one cared enough to even encourage me to achieve anything in life.

    After my sister moved out and got married a while back, I’m now the ‘oldest child’, and the next in line… My parents actually talk to me, and pay attention to me, comfort and care about me, now. And a lot of the problems I previously stated have started going away…
    But now, my sister just gave birth to a baby boy. And yes, I’m excited, and I think it’s wonderful, but I’m also absolutely positively TERRIFIED that now that my parents are now grandparents, their love and attention is going to go back towards my sister, and her new baby.
    And I’ll go back to having zero.
    Again.
    I swear, I would rather f*cking KILL myself, then going back to that nightmarish HELL of a pecking order. I just hope they bother to at least buy me a f*cking casket.

    I’m sorry, I’m just SO angry right now, because ever since my sister got pregnant I’ve been sinking further and further back into the mud pit of being a middle child in this family.

  8. Its scary how many of these things describe me. I feel like my case is somewhat unique though….is this low self esteem? I feel like its nessesary to be better that my siblings at everything. I constantly tell myself i am a pink flamingo in a pigeon flock, and that i must achieve something greater than my siblings. Sometimes i feel really empty though. Like I’m not special because every great quality i have is shared with my siblings. What do you think?

  9. can this happen with half siblings? all ten of these are what I feel but Im not really a middle child I just have an older brother.

    1. These signs are not just for middle children. I believe you are experiencing these things because your brother gets more attention. Do not feel sad, this is very natural, if it gets worse, try to talk about it. I will help you feel a lot better. Good luck!

  10. FIRST BORNS! FIRST BORNS! FIRST BORNS!

    No one loves you middle kids. I used my younger brother as a ottoman when I dont have a place to put my legs up. Also, he gives me piggy back rides when I dont want to walk places.
    You will all die alone as I party hard all night because everyone loves first borns.
    YOU ARE JEALOUS.

  11. Hello
    I”d like to say I think am the worst middle child syndrome case around my country at least
    My mother barely talks to me
    Only whenn she needs chores done
    Or someone to let out her anger on
    So goes for my dad
    And they both treat my older sister like. A princess

    I’ve considered running away
    But chose to leave to university and never speak to them again

    It is really nice to know some people feel the same

  12. Thanks for this. I am a middle child and I am very unhappy with my home life, and therefore choose to spend excess time with my friends. My parents don’t understand and I am constantly compared to my successful, older sister. I hate being a middle child but being with other people really helps. It’s good to know I’m not alone though.

  13. Hi Vargthon,
    First of all, thanks for the comment.
    Psychology is an interesting science, not only is it still evolving but most scientists do not see it as an exact science, mainly because there is not much quantitative data to be collected on human behavior. Alfred Adler was the one who pointed out certain correlations between birth order and personality, and I believe these are all only theories. As an aspiring psychologist, I must be open to theories. Personally, I believe that it is the inability of the parents to treat their children with the same amount of effort that produces this effect on their children. Not sure if I answered your question though.

  14. Hi there, i really enjoyed your site. But i have some questions about that.
    First, assume that you are studying Psychology, is it real that this syndrome exists or is it a characteristic of parent to not give the same attention for the middle children?
    Is there any research or scientist prove that it’s exists or explain that syndrome or parent attitudes?
    I am the middle child and want to know if this feelings it about my mind or about the attention falt!

    Thank’s!
    (Sorry about english, i am brazilian)

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