My Middle Son

Hi, I am Joanne from Perth in Australia and I have three children – Jake is 6, Ashley is 4 and my daughter Alyssa is almost 2.

I have struggled with Ashley since the day he was born as he had severe reflux. That was quite hard to deal with and then at about 18 months of age his behaviour became terrible – that was while I was pregnant with Alyssa.

It seems that he only has issues when he is at home so that is why I think that he may suffer middle child syndrome. When he goes to kindy he is really good. I suppose because he is off on his own and doesn’t have his siblings or myself around.

He is a very moody child. One minute he can be quite happy and laughing and then in a split second can change to being very upset and depressed. He likes to spend time on his own alot and we really have to encourage him to join in with things if we are doing stuff together. He also throws terrible tantrums the moment I say no to anything and has changed from wanting to try things himself to always saying “I Can’t”. He wets his pants almost every day which can be really annoying but it doesn’t seem to bother him at all.

He is also very smart and his skill level (academically) is higher than others his age. He writes his name very well and has done for the last year, and his drawing and colouring is impeccable.

I don’t feel like I am giving the others any more attention but I suppose it is different because the attention I give him is mostly negative. I always tell him that I love him and always praise him when he is good or does something well or right.

I don’t know what to do with him. Is it that I need to take him to therapy? I feel like I really need help with dealing with him because some days it is just too much.

If anyone has any suggestions, it would be greatly appreciated.

Many Thanks
Joanne

3 thoughts on “My Middle Son

  1. Well that’s what you get for having kids..haha no just joking my mom says that so much . Anyway, I’m the middle child out of three. All girls. I feel kind of bad for your son , its hard to watch your parents say things like “I just can’t deal with you to day” , when all you want is to play with them, or get something from them. Hes only 4! you need to give him more attention. 4 year old’s are still like babies(not to much) and want attention like any other baby. Just don’t go crazy on him. My mom went crazy on me over nothing. She was just mad at my dad about something. I didn’t even say anything to her. What sucks about having you mom beat (with fits) me up is that I can’t hit her back. No matter how much I want to. Just watch yourself and him. Really all he wants is love. Remember its normal for 4 year old’s to want attention. I’m pretty sure that when your youngest is 4 your going to give her all the attention she wants and when your son says that you don’t love him like you love your youngest, your going to sit there and ask why he feels that way. Well I’m telling you right now way hes going to feel that way. (Sorry my english isn’t that good)

  2. I’m 17 and my sister, Morgan, is 22 and my brother, Gavin, is 14. I think maybe you should just like take him out for a day, just you and him. It’ll make him feel special and like he is important too. I know I love when my mom takes me to see musicals without anyone else. I like having all the attention.

    Just a thought :)

  3. I have an 12yr old an 8yr old And I just recently had a little girl she is now 10 months old.I’m very protective of all my children I love all the same but i guess diffrent ways. My 12 yr old is pretty laid back very smart honor student my middle is outgoing always gotta be the center of attention and i give it but sometimes i have to occupy him with other things like video game to give me time with the baby. I invole him alot in many things and so does my 12 r old Im more senstive to the fact that most of the kids in the nieborhood are my oldest age so my youngest boy follows his older brother around but when my oldieest once to get out and spend time with his friends with his tag along baby bro my 8 yr old doesnt understand and he gets the sad face so we do something together and im make like it like no one knows but us….I guess my point is dont spreaad urself to thin It sounds like your doing a awesome job i think as good parents we tend to wonder what if this or that.Truth is I jsut think the middle child 2nd child b4 middle child always demands more attention and are way more outgoing and seems troublesome but if there soing so well on the outside then were doing are job and there doing theres by keeping us on our feet driving us crazy.as long as no one mistreats him or ignores him and he stays involed in something they will be fine ,kids r kids there here to drive us crazy :0

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