I am the middle girl, 2 older brothers and 2 younger sisters. I have always been treated unfairly by my mom not by my dad I remember one time as a child mom would whip me to do the dishes, and one night dad ask me to do them and to keep her from whipping me, he stayed in the kitchen and started reading me a book until I was done, I was the only girl that ever had to clean the house and wash dishes, was and still is picked on by my brothers and the sister, that was born after me I can’t stand her, she would break things, or do mean things, to my baby sister and would tell mom I did them. I would get punished.
I hated my life as a child and am 49 now and all of these old feelings are coming back strong. remember as a child I swallowed an ice cube and hid and would not tell mom in fear that I would get a whipping we had to break our own switches and pull all the green leaves off I know at times I may have needed a spanking but got a lot more for things I didn’t do, we as kids were sitting in front of the TV. one day and my mom told us to be quiet, and so I did and then because the others would not be quiet, she throws a high heel shoe at me, which thank god I ducked and it hit the speaker on her TV. And put a dent in it, and so for that she started hitting me with the dust pan.
I got along with my baby sister other than being jealous of the attention she got from mom she was our half sister. Yes my mom messed around on my dad and got pregnant with my baby sister. I love her but mom thinks the sun rises and sets on her, my mom and dad separated when I was 12 and we had to go to court and say who we wanted to go with and because everyone else wanted to go with mom I went to plus the fact that a year before I started having seziours, and mom was there and dad had to work but did not find out till older, she would meet a man on her stay there with me. When mom and dad separated she started fooling around with my baby sisters dad, one day we were at the apt. we lived at and he was taking us girls and mom to get ice cream and the sister after me screamed when he moved his truck and so for that mom blamed me and she and I didn’t get to go so my mom put us in our room till they got back, which at the time mom and us three girls shared, and they took my baby sister and got her ice cream, and while they were going the sister after, me found some stick pins, and stuck them in my sister’s bed, when mom came home, I told her what she had done, wrong move. I got a beaten and she didn’t and then all of a sudden he upped and left town, never to be heard from again. My mom blamed me for him leaving.
When I started my monthly cycle I was afraid to tell her afraid I would get punished, but knew I had to in order to get my monthly supplies. I would have to tell her I have been praying for years that it would get better it has not she treats my other brothers and sisters like saints and all of their kids like saints but not my kids or grandkids I am married to a really wonderful guy now we have been married for 9 years, Mom loves him I thought mom and I had repaired our relationship we were even talking about her maybe moving in but because I told her that I would not have people running in and out of our house all the time and she said that it would be better that she stay where she is now she has had hip surgery and my baby sister and I stayed over there the night of surgery and I had not slept any the night before surgery because mom had came to my house and I had to shower her the night before surgery and the morning before surgery and we had to leave home at 4 am and she was awake and crying all night I was wore out so about 4 am on the morning after surgery I overheard my mom ask my sister you mean to tell me she did not let you have the good spot to sleep and you have got to drive back across the mountain today which I think I know how to drive I just laid there my heart sank so I know this is still going on.
I was helping her get into her car one day before her surgery and my niece her favorite could get her in the car better than I could my niece has been taking care of her before the surgery only to find out they were kicked out of there trailer because they were late paying rent and there lights have been turned off they have been mooching off mom but I keep my mouth shut she can’t stand her husband and the girl is fooling around with another guy. Mom is in rehab but since I have got home I don’t want to go back my husband sees the way she does me and is very upset. I should not feel this way I had counseling and I thought it was all behind me and I was starting to move on, what happened I feel worse now than I ever have we I feel as though we are talked about all the time I would talk to her about things and my brother would call my husband and make jokes about it has really gotten old so it has been awhile since I have confided in mom about anything here, I have always been teased by my brothers now they are teasing my husband and saying things like you need to step up to the plate and you need to wear the pants things like that they think it is funny my husband and I don’t want to be around any of them, they were making jokes to my teen daughter and I halted that she can’t stand my family she sees right thru them can’t say I blame her she has always ask my mom can I go home with you NO is always the answer. Her dad and I was married briefly but his mom her grandmother and I get along great we have had our run is but I feel closer to her than my mom. I don’t know why all this stuff is surfacing now. I am trying to deal with it and knows my mom needs me now but she is still treating me the same way, how do I get past this. I feel angry ,hurt, heartbroken and don’t know what to do anymore.