Why do I even try

Hi, I’m Nikki, I am a 14 year old girl, my big brother is 18 and my little sister is 10,, they always look out for each other but just leave me hanging, I got in a fight a school last year my brother was actually helping the other girl it made me feel like shit the rest of the day and I didn’t even go to school the next day.

My sister gets everything she wants, I wanted a bird and I waited six months for that bird and when we went to the pet store to get it she was looking at the mice and asked daddy if she could get one he said if you clean your room tomorrow we could come back and get it, and she is the laziest person ever! I had a dog for eight months and I loved her so much I wanted another one, my friends dog had puppies so I picked one out at 3 days old, I worked so hard for that dog I cried every night and asked myself if its worth it. My sister didn’t do shit during this time, we went to go get her(her name is Luna) and a few minutes later she came to me holding one of the puppies saying “Nikki, I get this one” I almost cried. I had to take care of her damn dog because she was at school and I am home schooled, I just did what I was told I was taking care of my two dogs, my sisters dog and my parents two Rottweiler’s, I couldn’t even take it for two weeks so I asked to get rid my sisters dog and my mom said if we get rid of her dog we get rid of Luna, I was desperate so I had to get rid of one of my babies, I cried for two days.

I try to be with my pets more than my family and they don’t seem to care, but when they leave to take my sister to volleyball practice I stay home and cry. My brother got everything he wanted too I asked for some money for eight dollar shoes from my mom and se said no, and I see my brother with ten bucks walking down the hallway, I asked him where he got it and what he was doing with it, he says I’m going to a party mom gave it to me.

I feel lonely inside, I have this feeling I need o be famous to be seen or heard, because I get good grades in school sometimes I even get awards, but every time my brother get an A, oh my God he’s a genius, same with my sister and they show relatives and all I get is a “good job”. I do good in school I get mostly A’s and B’s but I get C’s in math because I am horrible at it, and I get shit from my brother saying how stupid I am or how ugly and fat I am I am tired of this!

– Nikki

7 thoughts on “Why do I even try

  1. This story is exactly my life man. Im 14, the middle child, have an older sister and a younger brother. I used to get straight A’s in middle school but ever since freshman year they’ve been going downhill (not too bad i still pass with C-) Thats the only way i get some attention in this house, my parents yell at me about being on my phone all the time, But what else am i supposed to do, its not like they’re gonna talk to me about school and shit. They always focus on my sister, the first person in my family of five to go to college, and she’s the laziest person ever i swear! She doesn’t drive to do anything, even get some groceries, when a supermarket is literally a 5 minute WALK from our house. It frustrates me so much. Dont get me started on the younger brother, he is the most spoiled, attention seeker ever, and his sole purpose is to make my life a living hell. I shouldn’t write anymore because i feel i ranted a bit there. Sorry, and i know exactly how you feel.

  2. hey nikki I’m kiki I’m 18 and the middle child i totally understand where you’re coming from I dealt with the same shit but now that I’m in college I left that all behind me I havent completely gotten over the fact that my household treated me like shit but the fact that I’m and college and they down there “missing” me I could give two shits lol

  3. Hi Nikki,
    I know how you feel. Let me just say, it’ll get better soon. Hopefully.
    Hang on there, Nikki, pretty soon you’ll be off to college, and then what? You won’t have to talk sh*t to them at all.

  4. To Nikki and all other middle children: Take it from an elder, i’m 63, and of course, a middle child! This is what i have learned being a middle child: we’re independent, compassionate, understanding, logical, and according to Dr. Levin, we’re the most emotionally stable personalities of the birth order profiles; that’s a very good thing. And do trust me, you’re gonna need ALL the above if you truly fit the middle child syndrome profile. We’re out there! Fighters! Crusaders for good! We’re absolutely necessary, and worthy, even though it may take a while for the rest of the world to catch up—mustard. Oh, did I mention we have a very healthy sense of humor, although it too is often misunderstood, under-rated and quite often mistaken as wiseacre. Nonetheless, stand up for yourselves and always stand for what is right and good and walk in the world with beauty and at peace. And when you reach your elder years you’ll be so appreciative of your so-called middle child syndrome status.

  5. Hi, Nikki. Im a 14 year old guy with a 11 year old younger sibling and a 17 year old sibling… I read your story and it is so true… I feel so bad that you had to give up one of your dogs. I have a somewhat similar story, When i was younger we went and chose a dog from the pound, we chose a small yellow puppy that we both liked… it was my sisters birthday that day so it was her birthday gift and when we brought it home we had to decide a name, i let her name it because it was her birthday. But after that it took a turn for the worse, she wouldn’t let me hold the dog or pet it… if she could, she wouldn’t have let me look at it. But she was fine with letting me feed it or clean up after it but hardy touched the dog. But soon, after she( the dog) got older, it wasnt as appealing to her, she just brushed it aside like and old toy, leaving me to take care of it. She still bragged to other as to how clean she kept it and how she had trained it to sit and lay etc. but in reality it was me doing it all, her getting the credit. Now a little while afterwards( sorry this is so long ill try and shorten it ) our dog was acting funny and who cared? Not my sister. Long story short, she had puppies ( in the middle of winter btw) and according to my sister. buttercup ( the dog) was hers so the puppies were as well, but it was just a flashback of when buttercup was a pup. i could go into the cold and keep fires going to keep them warm but if she was around i couldn’t do squat with them. She got to name them… all of them. i didn’t get to name one of them. We had to get rid of them but we got to keep one. i wanted a little black and white one but because my sister wanted a different one we kept that instead. Her name was ginger and i hated her at first but i grew to love her. fast forward to today and i love both the dogs. My little sister is ( sorry for language) a bitch to my mom, to me, and my dogs. she just disobeys my mom yet gets everything she wants by begging and whining. I could fill this post with so many examples but i wont because its long already. I am a very high achiever in school but idont get crap for it but if one of my siblings gets a B then they get praised to no end… I once got an B+ in Language , my worst subject, and i got scolded for it. It was an 89% and i don’t know what your grading scale is, but in ours that’s 1 point from an A. sorry for the long post but i just saw that your story is so similar… this was the first time i could finally rant so i could do 5 more post like this but i wont… Best of luck


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