Birth Order Traits
Birth Order can have a large impact on your life. At first it may seem abstract and unimaginable, but these birth order personalities can affect your job, family and basically your entire life.
Birth Order patterns are divided into 3 basic types, these are the first child, the last child and the middle child.
The First Born
Strongest Personality – First borns are usually the leaders. They usually have the characteristics and qualities that enable them to make decisions easily. This maybe due to the special attention they receive since they are the first, and parents would be very excited with them.
Family Minded – First borns take the position of their parents when they are not around, making them the decision makers. They would then think of the family as their own, thus they are protective and responsible for their siblings. They are unselfish and caring by nature.
The Middle Child
Peacekeepers – Middle children are peacekeepers by default. They are the mediators between the siblings. They are sometimes associated as “people pleasers” due to their weak personalities, but not all of them have this characteristic.
Attention Getter – By being born at the middle, middle children do not receive much attention. This causes them to get attention whenever they can through any means possible, so often they become the black sheep of the family. Lack of attention can cause a chain reaction making them lose confidence, friends and so on.
The Last Born
Smartest – By being the last, they have seen the rights and wrongs of their siblings, making them the smartest. Often, the youngest will be exposed to matters between their siblings which are older, thus making them a bit mature for their age.
Spoiled – By this time, the parents are tired of their children. Most of their energies in disciplining the children have been used up, thus having none for the youngest. Because of this, the child becomes accustomed to no discipline at all, making them spoiled and hard headed.
Note: There are a lot of cases where the birth order traits are not consistent. Some factors may alter the effect of birth order, like gender, death and other unusual circumstances.
Shanu
I am the middle one.My elder sisy pretty hated me to the core, she is quite bossy and would initially in younger days bully me often.While i grew, i tried to resist as much as I could.She is now on the verge of getting divorced,still bossy to me and treats me inferior.Though I peacemaker, cant find peace in this situation as she has dismantled the whole of our loving family by now and my father had died cos of this.My brother the youngest,seems good now.time alone can prove.The only thing that confuses me is,if the person who has power (referring to eldest) treats us with peace and is she has any doubts consults it with parents;the home would be a peaceful one.Elders should be taught to share and care, we follow our loving elders the most way;No matter how love the elder gives , we youngers would always return them as we return the love we get from our parents and good friends.
Pray all elders (powerful ones – by age) would allow to make this Earth a better and peaceful place to stay!!!
CD
I find this interesting, but are there other things to consider? their are 3 of us in my family, I have 2 older brothers and I am the youngest and only girl so rules were very different for me, therefor I don’t have any of the traits of the youngest. So, my question is: does gender, the order of the gender or years between each child make a difference? Another example for theses questions is: my children, I have a boy and girl, boy first and then 6 1/2 years between them. They both act like the only children.
Ron
Yes it is more likely that u will have personality of first born, as u are the first female
Rabi
Well i think your a few points off here , My big brother which the eldest is the least caring out of all of us . im the middle child , i cant say im the peace maker , im the war starter …maybe and i have a younger brother which is far from smart ! but yes he is spoiled to the core and also carries the role of peace maker , My elder brother get what he wants because he is the oldest and my younger brother get what he wants because he is the youngest .
Dre Svenkirk
This article is way off. I’m the middle of three, the only girl with two brothers on both sides. Perhaps gender has something to do with it but this article is majority wrong. My older brother is a strong leader but he’s also one of the least caring people I’ve ever met. As for me, I am the second strong willed one who’s always headbutting with someone or another. I don’t go around like this article states, I go through. The attention-grabber has made me the wild one though. Lastly, my little brother would not necessarily be smartest. The most doted over, yes, but he’s also the most compliant and caring out of all of us. Ever since childhood these traits have been true for all three of us and nothing has changed since.
shay
I read this and was like huh???? Absolutely wrong. I believe being an only girl (as you are) with brothers on both sides makes a difference. Its almost like being a first born because you are the first female child. I ran our house and my brothers. The older two (twins) were 4 years older. The eldest tried bossing me and I fought with the younger of the twins about soda chips, lol TV etc. The youngest I was more motherly to him – he called me the warden with a 11 year age gap. I was bossy (still am) My brothers call me Momma #2, and I talked alllllll the time- which is why I got the nickname – Mouth Almighty Tongue Everlasting ….
MY self esteem is on Steriods and my brothers and family will tell you I succeed at everything and typically go all out on whatever I do —good or bad lol!!!
Linda
I grew up the middle of 3 girls, and this is not us at all. My older sister is a train wreck and always has been. She is definitely the attention seeker and is not family minded (divorced x3). I am the stable leader, the smartest, and the one everyone in the family turns to for guidance. My younger sister did get away with everything and was spoiled, however she definitely wasn’t the smartest. So, it doesn’t always work the way the experts say. I hope that helps other middle children.
Charlotte
My sister is too, and my younger brother was one too.
Jessie
I have to say– My older brother and I are like the first born and middle child.
However,
My younger sister is NOT the smartest– I am, because when I’m not cleaning the house, I’m studying. Whether it be trivia, or many subjects, or just research on random topics. My sister does not learn from mistakes of my brother and I. In fact, she’s dumb enough to repeat them over and over again. But do my parents care? Do they come up with new and exciting ways of punishment like they do for me when I make the slightest mistake? NOPE! I personally believe my sister is spoiled rotten. She never gets in trouble, no matter what she does, she gets everything she wants, she’s never told no…. It’s really not fair.
Emily
I am a middle of three. I have to say that we are such stereotypical with our birth order personalities. My older sister is an exact example of the oldest described on this site, and my younger brother is word-for-word the same as the youngest. I am also your example of the middle child.
I have found this site to be extremely interesting in that respect.
kylei'
i was a middle child turned oldest child, meaning for a long time i wasnt made out to be much of anything, i wasnt the oldest or the odd man out, i was just there. when it came my turn to be the oldest it was forced upon me, i was told my lil sisiters needed me. and if they needed me who was i supposed to need? no one i guess, i had to look out for myself.
Debra
depends on the family discipline and structure. I was the youngest for 13 years. I got disciplined more than any of my siblings. I was punished more than any of them. My sister 13 years younger than me takes care of our mom. I took care of my dad. The oldest does nothing for anyone, matter of fact is only seen when he needs something. Hell, when I was a single mom raising my only child he would wait outside my job on my pay days and ask for money. My oldest sister is pretty independent, always been bossy, mean spirited, jealous and has always hated me. She is a good cook and makes arts and crafts and stuff. She wouldn’t be so bad if she weren’t so bossy and given in to jealousy so much.
Gopi
I have to say I didn’t really think about lots of these things until I just read it. I agree with a lot of you, while my younger is not the smartest, my older sister is a different type of mature than me, she is 21, im 17 my other sister is 13. my older sister is just as mature as she is for her age, well she is an adult, me on the other hand, im more of a middle aged person “mature”, being left at home to take care of my two younger siblings almost all throughout highschool (my mother had my little brother, who is now 5, much later, so im still in the middle child role), my older sister didn’t have to do this because while she lived at home my parents were still together (they split shortly after my brother was born) so I pretty much took care of him and tried to care for my sister (who is an absolute brat im sorry to say, she has all the qualities of the youngest of the family, except she does not care about school, other people or her actions, which made it really hard) I took care of my brother so much that he would at times accidentally call me mom. anyways so my story is that in some ways i was forced to be grow up much faster than any of my siblings. In some ways I am thankful for that, I didn’t do the usual stupid stuff in highschool, and so was lucky enough to get into one of the best engineering schools in the country at 16. The only thing I worry about now that im living at school is how my mom is going to deal with my sister and i hope my brother doesnt turn out like her. Pretty much everything about the middle child is true about me, its hard for me to be in social situations with people my own age, i get along better with people in their mid thirties than i do with late teens and early adults, oh well, that is a middle child.
mason
Most of this is true for my family. I was the “original” middle child. My mom had more kids nine years after my youngest sister. My big sister, 19, is always praised as being the smartest out of all 5 of us. My younger sister, 14, is spoiled rotten and is the attenion seeker in my family. She’s told her entire school in the middle of an assembly that she’s thinking of commiting suicide. I ,15, never speak out against my parents like all my other siblings. Every thing I do wrong I think my mom will hate me for it. I ran away was because my grades weren’t like my older and my younger sisters’ grades. Every thing I do that gets a little bit of my parents attention, my younger sister has too pull the same stunt bigger and more extravagent.
Sarah
These are all for families of three’s if you think being in the middle of a family of three makes you feel left out, well at least you get to be a ‘middle child’ In my family it goes Oldest, The Boy, me, Youngest, my brother is the only boy so differs so much he gets his own important special role, I don’t get anything.
Ally
I can only say I agree with some of this,
I am the middle of 3 children.. My younger sister is 15, I am 18, and my older brother is 22. I have always been playing the role of oldest and middle while my older and younger siblings just act out. I am the peace keeper, mediator and leader I act like the parent when my parent isn’t around so no I don’t agree with that part. However, my younger sister isn’t repremanded as strictly as my brother and I were. But, you could say she is a bit spoiled. If I would of pulled half the things she does I would have been grounded for a year. She however gets yelled at and that’s it. My brother never got grounded for anything he did and isn’t as mature as he could be although he has the smarts of the siblings he does not use them in the maturate catagory. SO, yes and no I only half agree.
steph
My little sister is dumber and does more bad things then us :T . So I don’t think their the smartest I think the oldest is and I’m the middle child by the way. I mean we tell my little sister not to lose things and she does it, we tell her not to do things and she does them. Shes 11 and still does shit I like this. I grew up faster because I had to work on my own time so I don’t see how the last one is mature. My older sister is way~ mature then her. My little sister is a brat! My dad calls me an angle now after trying to kill myself. So now I get all attention 😀 .Killing myself did work but I kinda went crazy on that day too(note: people I did it but don’t try it dying is scary). I am happy and feel like my dad really loves me but I still don’t like my mom she never tries and told me she only loves my younger sister more then me because she knows it hurts me. No joke its messed 🙁 . Sometimes I get flashbacks about my mom hitting me and I can feel the slapping on my leg whenever I get these flashbacks. I go crazy and start hitting myself to clam down, that is how I ended up almost dying. My little sister is smart she only tries to stay out of trouble but always gets in to it.When she gets in trouble she says its my fault.
Nycole
I agree with some of what you have said. My older sister is not more mature. And my little sister is definitely not the smartest. I am the middle and I am the most mature but not sure it is caused from the birth order, I grew up close to my grandmother so have a lot of her personality. I am the “peacemaker” for sure. I don’t know how old you are but I used to be suicidal as well. I never attempted it though because I knew my family could not afford the funeral and my dad needed me. He also had depression the same time as me and when I was old enough to understand he told me he did not kill himself because I needed him. We saved each other. I am definitely different then everyone. I am bipolar but function a lot better then typical bipolar people. One of the main characteristics of bipolar is instability with working and taking meds correctly. I, on the other hand, do not ever get off my meds and usually have no problem keeping a job.
Marie
Steph, I know h0w you feel even though we are many years apart. I am 60 years old and my mother still makes me feel like I am nothing. What I did to survive was to believe in myself even if my own family could not. I think it has been successful so far. I wish I had my mothers love and confidence, but that is her problem. I know who I am and what I can do and think as kindly as I can about my family members. Sometimes I feel gained up on. I retreat so I can survive. I am a middle child. Good luck.
Isabella
OMG this is so true!! I am a middle child and I’m currently 13 years old. My older 16 year old sister gets all the compliments and the attention. And then there’s my younger 12 year old brother who get’s anything he wants and he’s spoiled. I barely even get attention. If my sister gets something new, I have to wait until she’s done using it but if my brother asks for it, he gets a new one as well! It’s really not fair being a middle child and we really want attention. My sister gets all the praise where there’s people saying “OOH she’s so pretty!” and my brother gets all the cool stuff and people saying “OMG he’s just so adorable!!”. While I just sit there getting no praise at all. I’m the peacemaker of the fights and I’m also the shadow. If I just wandered off, I doubt it that my family would notice.
Oblivia DeHaviland
Isabella,
Keep writing. I hear your voice in your writing and that is special. There isn’t a voice in everybody’s writing. You’re interesting and your personality comes through. Did you hear me, keep writing?
Nona
Wow. I agree with you completely! I am number three of five children in my family, so I understand when you say that you feel like the peacemaker and the shadow. Playing peacemaker is a great thing. haha. People never seem to understand why it is so great, but it is because we are the ones who understand what makes poeple tick. We also understand what exactly it is that makes people want to give. Not only that, but we are everybodies sweatheart or angel- so when we ask for something, we generally get it. You may not see it yet, Isabelle, but with time you will learn how to use your words in a way that will bring more attention to you. Now, I’m not saying that you should pose threats to people, or do dangerous things. I’m just saying that you will eventually learn how to use your words so you sound much more intelligent and mature than the rest. Which will naturally put you more in the spotlight and the “I wish others would be more like you” catagory.
Being the shadow also isn’t that bad of a position. You might wonder why I would say such a thing, haha, but look at what the oldest sibling is expected to do. They are always expected to be responsible and if they mess up any little thing, they are looked down upon. The youngest sibling is and will always be looked at as the baby. They always want to be in the spotlight and pretty much always will be. there really is no way avoiding it. But that is okay! Because when it comes to certain things that you DONT want to be recognized in, your not. Like, for instance, going to parties while your parents are away. Even if one of your siblings catch you and rat you out, you will never get in trouble. And if you do, it will only be a scolding. Why? Because in your parents eyes, you are the one that the rest of your sibling should be more like. Your the “Angel” or “Daddy’s little girl.” And who could possibly fathom “Daddy’s little girl” doing something as bad as going behind their back and getting wasted while they are not home? And just because of that, the sibling that tattled is only seen as wanting more attention from the parents and all the remarks made about you are disregarded. 🙂
So dont worry about being in the shadows once in a great while. You might get ignored here and there, when you prefer to be seen- but you will definitely be noticed when it really matters.
Nycole
I know how you feel. My older sister is 4 years older then me and my younger sister is 5 years younger. But if this offers any hope for you, I have now started realizing, finally in my late 20’s, that it is probably the best to be in the middle. For the fact you have to fight more for attention and usually have to work harder to get what you want, it makes you the most likely to succeed in life. The oldest and the youngest get everything handed to them so they will not get the will power to work for what they get. My older sister will be 32 in February and she is now on her 3rd marriage to the 2nd man. She is pregnant with her 4th child though she can’t handle taking care of the 3 she already has. And is still moving from house to house. She has no career and has trouble keeping a job. My little sister will be 23 in march and she, her boyfriend, and her baby live with our mom. She has had 1 really job her whole life, no career. And the job she had was only for 1 year. I on the other had am married to the same man for 7 years, i am currently buying my house and I have 2 careers and possibly going to school for a 3rd. I have 2 jobs currently, one for each career. And i am planning on opening my own business next year. I hope I have given you some hope. No one ever did for me.
AbbieY.
i am 16 and I have 2 brothers 25 and 18 i also have 2 sisters 17 and 11. i am the middle child and wheni read this article and i was impressed! When I read this I was thinkiong to myself that this was me and all of this is true I just wish that other people could see that being a middle child is not easy and all we want its to feel like the rest!
There are some days when I dont feel like this because I know that my family loves me and cares for me but then again they dont relize what the do!
This article was really good reading!
Holly
Wow, I’m one of 5. My oldest sister is 35 now and still acts like having siblings was just awful cause she got less and blah blah blah.. So she doesn’t fit that category very well. She is a bit selfish in that way and spent time with her boyfriend (husband now) every day since I was 2 so never rally took on the control of the house when my parents weren’t there..
My sister, who is the middle child, is way more of the instigator than the mediator. She is sweet, but very gossipy and doesn’t ever want to resolve issues…
And me, I am the youngest.. I do think I learned a lot from watching my siblings.. I don’t smoke, drink, or any other nasty habits like that (which everyone in my family does or has done in the past..) or do any drugs (which my sister’s all went through a phase though they have grown out of it..) However, to say by the time they have their last kid the parents are “tired of their kids” is a bit harsh.. I wasn’t spoiled because my parents were “sick of us”. I was mildly spoiled because my older siblings liked to do things for me.. But I was never bratty because of it because I was taught not to be.. So, for the most part.. This is all wrong for my family. We did have a father who died when I was quite young, but I most of them were old enough to be pretty set in their personalities by then.
Dupras
On point esp wiv d last born issue…… I am one nd can testify.Just dat abt d issue of getting/being spoiled…..Some of us avoid it via strict schools which we attend of which at d time it looks like we were been punished 4 nuffin but at the end it was what we needed……Cheers and once again “On Point”!!!!