Hey there! I’m Hailey and I’m a middle child š
So.. you must be wondering, is Middle Child Syndrome real or not? Is it a real issue or just another made up condition for millenials? If you are a middle child yourself or a parent of a middle child, please read on!
What is Middle Child?
A middle child is someone who is born in between two or more siblings. Being born in the middle, as you’ll soon find out, is not that simple. The middle child, unlike the eldest or youngest child, does not get much attention. Middle children are also usually considered outcasts in their families and often develop a condition called Middle Child Syndrome.
What is Middle Child Syndrome?
Middle child syndrome is a condition in which children born in the middle experience feelings of emptiness, inadequacy and jealousy. It is also characterized by low self-esteem and extreme introversion, sometimes even leading to psychotic behavior.
The middle child, unlike the eldest child and the youngest child, is not given much attention. They have to go the extra mile just to get some of it. Middle children tend to be achievers because they need awards to be recognized by their parents. Sadly, this also goes the other way around, they can be very troublesome and determined to get noticed even if it means getting scolded at or punished.
Because they lack emotional support and guidance from their parents, they will always have a sense of low self-esteem. These feelings of emptiness and loneliness make them not very friendly and maybe even weird to other people. Most likely, these negative feelings will also stop them from pursuing what they want.
Other observable traits of middle children are insecurity and jealousy. Being raised in an environment where they have to compete for attention, itās natural for them to have feelings of insecurity and jealousy of others. Seeing others easily get attention while they continue to strive for attention, these feelings of resentment towards others will continue to build up. All these repressed feelings of being unloved, unwanted or even hated can trigger an extreme case of middle child syndrome where they show psychotic behavior.
Possible Causes of Middle Child Syndrome
After discussing the common traits of people with middle child syndrome, we can find two main causes, identity crisis and lack of emotional support.
Identity crisis is very common to us all, and itās something that we all experience at some point in our lives. Wanting to be different from everyone else is very normal and thereās not much we can do about it. The other cause is lack of support. Because the eldest and youngest are the common favorites, the middle child is not given any support or attention. This unloved feeling makes them less confident and envious of others, often leading to even more problems such as drug abuse.
Is there a Solution?
Some say that middle children should be given the love and attention that they should have had when they were young, but I believe this will only make them more dependent on their parentās approval.
There are also cases where middle children tend to separate from their family at a relatively early age to have families of their own. While having a new family means getting another chance, I do not think this is the best solution because escaping the past will not really resolve any childhood issues and these issues may haunt them for the rest of their lives.
The main cause of middle child syndrome is lack of emotional support, which is the responsibility of the parents. So logically, I would have to say that good and responsible parenting is the real and outright solution for middle child syndrome. While this may sound more like prevention rather than treatment, I think that itās never too late for good and responsible parenting.
But this is just my opinion, what do you think? Comments are very much appreciated.
Feel free to join the discussion. We’d love to hear from you!
Jenny
I am the original middle child in my family. What I mean by this, is…….I am the 2nd sibling in my family of 4 kids. My older sister is 5 years older than me, my younger brother is 6 years younger than me and the youngest who is a girl is 10 years younger than me and 15 years younger than my older sister. We are very spread out! My younger sister is clearly the favorite of the bunch. She is always the center of attention and is very doted on by my parents. She takes pride in always pointing out that she is the “favorite.” I could care less about being the favorite because I’ve never been someone who wanted to draw attention to myself. My younger brother, who is also in the middle, has an easier time I believe being a middle kid than I have because he is the only boy out of 3 girls. He was also a better student than the rest of us and the most popular in school. I remember my parents throwing parties for my brother when he was in h.s. just because he was voted most popular or most handsome. It meant more to them that he was popular than it did if he had graduated valedictorian. Who cared if you were smart, it was the kid with the most friends who was really important to my parents. When I was a kid before my brother was born, my older sister who was very mischeivious but always got away with everything she did actually started a fire in our house which did enough damage to where we needed to move. She blamed the fire on me (I was 3 or 4 at the time) and then finally admitted to it when she was in h.s. Even at my protests over the years that I didn’t do it, my parents never believed me. Why would they? I was not the oldest and so therefore I couldn’t be trusted…………..or at least not in their eyes.
Dominika
I’m the oldest of three and I always make jokes about being the favourite child. I’m pretty good at reading people and it doesn’t seem to bother my sister (the middle child). When my brother was born , young as she was (6), she did tell me that she felt like our parents were ignoring her. She is now a confident person. A lot more confident that our cousin of the same age as her who is the oldest in her family. I have a lot of friends who happen to be middle children and they are all confident people. I’m not really sure that this syndrome exists, and if it does, then it clearly doesn’t apply to everyone. Either way, somethign like this is way too hard to study scientifically.
freakout
yes it does its jus that the peopl you know are assholes
Laura
They may just be hiding their true feelings..
apes
WOW I’m in a fam of 6 and I’m the 4th child so technically middle child, I’m the second eldest daughter (two brothers above me). I am compared to my older successful sister who is amazing at gymnastics/trampolining/all types of dancing etc and a scientists, has loads of money and is having her own house soon, she’s now 25. I’m nearly 18 and doing a type of history at uni after college with no career in mind and my dad nags at me because I’m doing a ”silly’ subject that I enjoy which won’t get me anywhere ever and I’m wasting my time. I want to move out with my supportive boyfriend who’s parents treat him very much the same (he’s not a middle child mind). We are very excited about starting uni and living together in a flat and I’m trying hard to get a permanent on as I have temporary seasonal ones etc but I want to save more. My dad says moving out is the worst idea ever and my mum would rather I stayed in Halls for Uni but I’m set on what I WANT for once. My littlest sister is spoilt rotten and steals and ruins my things and instead of me getting new converse that shes ruined say she’ll ask and get them instead and my parents don’t believe my story. I’m a quiet person without my lifelong friends and find it hard to be really open straight away with people I don’t know, although when I do make friends I don’t shut up! haha. My family also skit me because I unfortunately inherited eczema and no one else did and I’m the only one with freckles and pale skin. I do all the chores and work fairly well in college and never get into trouble or do wrong like my sisters but nobody cares. Basically I have this thing! Sucks but I’m going to move away and I don’t particularly want to keep in touch with my family ever. I’m hoping to move to a nicer country when I’m older and settle there.
Sarah
Mathematically speaking I am not the middle child, there are four of us, I’m the third child, but the second child is my brother and as he is the only boy in the family as far as roles are concerned he had a fixed important place as did my other two sisters being the oldest and youngest. I however was left out without a real place, they never really understood the importance of this and when I tried to talk about where I fit it I was always the ‘second daughter’ or ‘third child’ or ‘second youngest’ I just kind of got lost in the middle. It wasn’t until these last few years that I realised the impact it had on me, the constant attempts to be the best at whatever I did, to impress not just my parents but anyone else who would show me attention, every tiny aspects of life is a competition and the amount of pressure and hurt I felt when I fell short. I need approval so badly and am so unconfident and yet put on a mask of being so vein and proud of myself, because if I don’t say I’m great I feel like the thought would never occur to them. My parents love me, they just don’t get it, I work hard at school and then after talking to my teachers and getting good feedback, all they had to say was ‘yes I know your smart, that’s what I was expecting’ I’ll never be sure who I am or what I’m suppose to do because my little sister came along and stole the only role I ever had, I was so young and the fact my parents were basically replacing me with a new little girl, just Hurt so much.
Aaron
The way that you feel the need to impress is part of the syndrome. Middle child syndrome leaves you with an inferiority complex because your parents focus more on your siblings as a whole so you feel your actions need to be noticed. Just remember we are all here and commenting is a good way to let it all out.
Deborah
Reading this description hurt. I’m a middle child & i’ve always felt invisible, weird and depressed. I have 3 brothers and 1 sister she’s older than me. I’m 18 and she is 26 and i’ve always been jealous of her because everybody likes her, she’s close with my mom and my brothers and i’m not. Every time I try to reach & speak to them they don’t hear me or make fun of me by saying that i’m weird and stuff. Because of that i’m always by myself, I don’t like spending time with them because they(my whole family) always end up making fun of my & that since I was a little child.
At least now i know why I have those hate/love feeling towards them.
Lily Janey
I am a middle child. Instead of being depressed, when I didn’t get enough attention I would do really good in school so that they would notice. However, now they don’t notice because they have got used to seeing good grades from me. Not sure what to do now, but I know I have the Lord’s undivided attention always, so if my biological parents fail me, The Lord will be there!
Dia
Born in 1950, and a middle child for sure. Although I could identify with much of what was said, I don’t feel particularly sorry for myself.
In fact my life as a whole has been filled with a plethera of ups and downs from age 18 to 62. To list them all would make one cry and think OMG. However, family has been paramount and a support system I wish everyone could experience. Even though I felt those things that identify a middle child. It did not define my life. I just figured…that’s life and moved along. I am here I survived, stuck to my faith, principles and never blamed anyone or looked back. Found my place and happiness. The ride however tough, cannot be avoided, endurance, strength, belief and acceptance. Just do it. You are worth it!
camilla
I am the middle child and as I read this, I started to cry. It all describes me. I’m 14, I have a 22 year old sister and a 11 year sister. My dad and mom are divorced and I live with my mom. I see everything that happens and when I wanna know why or who I get in big trouble. My mom tells me that its her personal life and that I need to stay out of it. Thats her reply to EVERYTHING! My dad buys me stuff because my mom doesn’t spend a dime on me. My dad even buys our groceries! My mom treats my little sister like an angel and I’m always yelled at. My mom is never there and my dad works in Afganistan as a contractor. My mom is in the army but somehow is always there for my little sister. If theres something at my school and her school on the same day and time, she will go to hers. If I need something like new shoes because mine are falling apart to the point where I can’t wear them, she tells me to ask my father. But, when I do and I get them, she gets all mad. I really don’t know my mom. I can’t really tell you about her. All I know is what I see, and what I see isn’t really all that good. All I want is love from my mom, but that even seems to much to ask.
Mike
I know the feeling! I am almost 16, I am the middle child, and have more attention from my father, who lives more than 600 miles away, than from my mother, who I live with. I am sick and tired of the feeling that only one parent loves me, and the other is only concerned about my twin brother (younger) and my sister(older.). Oh, and the shoes, I had a jacket that was falling apart, and When I asked my mother, I got the same response … “Ask your father.”
Janessa
I am a middle child. I have one older sister who is two years older then me and a brother who is a year younger then me (our b-days are exacly a year apart) and another younger sister who is two years younger then me. I know how is feel to be invisible. I would often use my fashion or hairstyles to get me attention. When I got older I started using alcohol to get me attention and fight alot. I have owned my own business in massage therapy but now I am back to square one and trying to work on somthing els. I know I like fashion and music so hopefully I can do somthing with that. I love who I am and can read people really well and am gullible but I wouldnt take back anything that I am rite now because I know what I have learned throught my years of being a middle child is irriplacible. I am still working on having attention on me. I am not used to it. I most of the time just try to blend in but its pretty much impossible. I will learn to own it. Keep your head up middle siblings and know the in actuallity we have the upper hand!!! š -janessa 24
oscar
I’m the father of three beautiful little girls 7,5,4 years of age and reading all of your stories really help me understand and have more perspective on whats going on in there lives specialy my middle baby girl she have been acting out a little in school lately and around the house as well and after reading all the stories from every one this really would help me be a better father to all my girls specialy my middle baby i truly have a better understanding of some of the things she could be dealing with after reading some of the stories and i’m gonna do better and right by all my girls. thanks again everyone for sharing again it really helps
Dhadha
yeah ! i know the feeling very well:((
so sad i was also a middle child ..i can’t make a decision by myself cause i am afraid of rejection. i want to make sure things first before i go for it. I’m afraid of everything. i don’t want to be alone , but sometimes i choose to be alone than to hung out with my friends. That’s the problem i can’t overcome.
MayMayLove
well it comez 2 a shock that i’m reading this cuzz every time i’ve been depressed weird and the craziest one in the house i had a feeling that it wuz because i wuz in the middle outah my 3brotherx and 3sisterz.I wuz alway’z the sico of the house.i felt awkward being the most different one cuz i never got the attention i wanted from my family weather if i wuz happy or sad which only made me wanted 2b locked in my room deppressed feeling like i had any love my family i would only see that only if i had a seizure 2where i had 2go 2the hospital.Whenever i try to talk to my older brother and sister they would always give me a selfish look and shrugg their shoulders which only makes me feel as they hate if i talk or be around them.Every time i tried 2talk 2my mom if i’m in a bad mood all she would say to me izāall you do iz think negativeā.In order to let my tears out iz jst writing in my journal or talk to peeple who cares cuz i am very ammotional.I never get the attention i want thats why i feel more comtherble by myself then to be around people who show no love or respect towards me even if i’m trying to be nice or polite.I definently get any attention @school cuz wen i’m around people i know i’m not gonnah fit in cuz people always see me as a weirdo and hardly get a boyfrnd from how i look its like i’m a shadow cuzz my frndz get more attention w. all kinda people but me.Thats y i’ll rather concentrate on myself alone in may own fantasy.The only positive thingz thats good @ being the middle child iz i’m the only onee with the best talent which iz singing,music,and art
Kris
When I read this article I kept nodding my head because it completely describes me. When I was younger Before my sis was born I was daddy’s little girl and now that she’s here and we’re all 8 years apart, it’s frustrating to say the least. Even more so that my bro still lives here, and they compare me to my siblings ALOT i have a very low self esteem but my parents don’t see it because they don’t look hard enough and it’s kind of sad that I don’t feel close enough to them to tell them everything about my day, icant even explain how i feel right, cause it makes them angry. I seriously have no idea how to describe myself I simply say: I’m Kristal. And socially, if I don’t know you very well or if we don’t have memories together it’s really hard for me to not let the convo go into silence. I’m perfectly fine and then the person says ‘bye’ like they can’t handle the silence.
Emzzy
Last year my mum past away when i was a 11 so now i live with my aunt and uncle and my sister and brother but the thing is my brother hes 4 and my sister is 15 so my brother always gets attention and i get left out and for example aparently i know every bit of what my brother got for his birthday and presents/money when i dont i called nosey some times i just want to die all run away like another time my sister was really up set about my mum and so she got a chocolate bar and a tub of ben and jerrys and loads of attention so a couple of weeks later i had a night mare about my mum she was not dead and kept on seeing her dead body in pjs and i just felt so sad and when i told my aunt and uncle i got told every thing will be all ok and i just feel so depresed after and im always jelious of my sister and it feels that im not welcome to the family so yh.
Tina
I am a middle child i am now 50 i had a very hard time growing up i felt alone and unloved i got very depressed and blamed my self for a lot of things which i haddent done and no self confedene at all i got marrid at 24 had 2childen not three i still felt depressed with no self confedene i started working with the public which gave me alot of confedence got divorced meet some one else and got married again now iv got a lovely live with my 2 children who are now 25 and 23 and my new husband so please just keep looking forword and not dewelling in the past
tricia
I am 39 and i have parents who still treat me like i am invisible….but it really hurt me when they started doing it to my kids! I have sorted it out but our relationship is bad because they have refused to accept they treat me differently and i have stopped talking and arguing with them about it. As long as I know the truth thats all that matters.
Anyway, i know what you mean about looking forward- but in my case i had to step back into the past to move forward. Its also nice to know theres light at the end of the tunnel.
Mila
I am not the middle child- I am the youngest. However, I do beleive I suffer from middle child syndrome because my sister is 10 years older than me and she has a baby. They live with us and my sister’s baby is treated as the youngest. Which leaves me in the middle although he’s not my brother. They pay so much attention to my sister and her wants and needs. They help her with everything and she has never been the good kid. I try SO hard in school and I have great grades and everything. But when my sister was in school she cut classes, smoked, ran away, etc. When my sister was out of the house for a while I finally got some attention but that didn’t last long, and she’s been here ever since. I SWEAR my dad hates me. My mom is his favorite person (Obvi), Then my sister and the baby, and then me . It’s obvious. He NEVER talks to me. And he always talks to them. The only time i can get him to talk to me is to say goodnight or goodbye. I’ve gotten sick 10 times in the last 2 months and the baby has gotten sick 3 times. Who has the most attention? The baby, as usual. I’ve never talked about this before. It feels kind of good to get it out. I just wish i’d be treated like i was important.
Jamie Soleil
I am happy I read this. I know I’m not alone in this now.! When I’m mad or sad when my parents r yelling at me ( ALOT ) I listen to music and I fall into it music is my blood my cure. I notice how I need more confidence I have 1 older sister who is sixteen and a little brother who is 11. My little brother is loved so much and my sister is greatly respected. But I’m just… There.
Lorena's Grandmother
you have brought this on yourself! you whore! stop shitting in my kitchen utensils!
Aaron
I don’t know if this is serious or whether the same person wrote twice.
If its the same person – ok………..
If you are really her grandmother that is the most horrible thing i have ever read in my life and karma will hurt when it gets you back
Lorena Barrera
Reading this description hurt so much. I am the middle child and i feel great feelings of loneliness and subordinance. Sometimes i lash out and try to attack others if they attempt to steal my possessions. THESE ARE MINE! DO NOT TOUCH; DO NOT TOUCH MY IPOD.
I act like a slut to try and get attention from my peers and family, and on occasion i partake in intercourse with african-american-low-lives.
I fart alot, hoping that people will smell the true feelings of my insides.
help me plz
Emily
I started crying while reading this. It all explains me , i’m the middle child. i have one sister and one brother, my sister is super smart and everyone is always saying how good she is and pretty she is and she always getting cool gifts. My who is the youngest is always spoiled gets the same treatment too everywhere i go with him everyone always says how cute he is and, my mom is always telling them how smart he is and how good he is at talking. When it comes to me i get the silent treatment, when it comes to me im just a disgrace , i do everything to tired to make them proud i try my hardest , and they dont even care! my mom just yelled at me to being rude im not the one time i need someone there for me nobody there for me they all just ignore me then i came across this i realized there are other people just like me.
Liz
The movie “The Fighter” is an interesting representation of “middle child” syndrome, in which the second son (played by Mark Wahlberg) is neglected by his mother, who continues to worship his older brother, a crackhead.
The problem is resolved a little too simply at the end of the film, but up to that point, it is a fascinating depiction of family dynamics.
clade
i do feel the same, its like my father loves my elder brother more, i have two elders siblings and two younger brothers, i always feel neglected, furthermore, i always feel the emptiness in my heart, i need more love and support.
TheMiddleChildDoctor
Clade, if you are male, I hope you will find the place in your heart, the part of your soul to once and for all confront your problems and MAN THE FUCK UP!
Grow a pair, go get laid.
Step One: Change your name
Step Two: Stop fingering your own butthole
Step Three: Get the fuck off of forums like this.
Step Four: Take your skirt off
Yaneth
Reading the description for middle child syndrome just made me break down and cry since it fit me perfectly. I am 17 years old and have 2 other sisters, 19&13. I have a low self esteem and feel neglected by my parents. I know that they don’t mean to make me not feel loved but they do. My older sister has always been my moms favorite, it is completely obvious. Even my other family members and friends notice it. Like this one time my sister was drinking & left the bottles out so my dad had seen them in the morning & asked my mom if she was the one drinking and she said no & my mom asked me and my older sister who was drinking & my sister admitted to it being her & my mom was telling me to say that both me and my sister were drinking so my big sister wouldn’t get in that much trouble. This is just one of many times my mom has treated my sisters better than me. She considers my little sister her baby. So what does that leave me being? Nothing. My older sister has always been the bad kid. Ditching, bad grades, dropping out, and having a kid but I have always been the good kid and I feel like my parents treat me as if I was the bad kid or they don’t pay attention to me. I have always felt like I never got any attention from them so I recently noticed that I have always craved attention not only from my parents but from my friends. I always rather be in the room by myself because my mom would just find a way to be unfair and my dad would just start yelling at me for nonsense reasons. I feel as if my dad never gave my attention since I was the good kid he figured I didn’t need any. Trying to talk to my parents about it would be useless. They would just ignore me or not take my seriously. I feel depressed being at home that’s why I rather be out but my parents don’t let me go out that much so it just makes everything worse. The more time passes by the worse things seem to get, I want to move out since the living situation is just really bad and to add to it my older sister lives here with her baby and her boyfriend and I share a tiny room with my little sister. I want to seek help from a therapist but like I said before talking to my dad about it is useless. It’s getting to the point where I want to just runaway
Somegirl
I can’t help but read this and relate! Like just now, I was just thinking about how everyone knows my older brother is favored most by my dad, my mom even told me herself! And my little brother is most favored my my mom, she’s always like “I love you” to him, in front of my face, without even acknowledging my presence! It makes me mad to know that if I wasn’t here, it wouldn’t matter to them! And I can’t help but feel like I can easily be replaced!
Giany
hi I’m the 3rd child, I have 2 older brothers and 1 younger brother. I suffer from these feelings too, but maybe this is why i cry for no reason. So can I still be the “middle” child if i am the 3rd of 4 brothers?
Taylor
I’ve been struggling with accepting the fact that I am and will always be the middle child. My parents are busy I know that and I’m not the one to be begging for their attention, but they don’t acknowledge me. For example, I came down stairs last night because it was getting late and I was starving, only to discover my mom, dad, older sister and younger brother eating dinner without me. I was crushed, but I am terrible at showing emotion and expressing my feelings so I just went back up to my room, they didn’t even turn to look at me.
I tried hard to please my parents when I was growing up, but as I got older and they still hadn’t took time to appreciate me I stopped pretending to be the “happy” child. I am now 15 and live most of my home life in my room, its the only place where I don’t have to come face to face with being ignored by the people I love. They’ll check in on me every once in awhile but never ask me to join the rest of the family downstairs, it hurts my heart to know that they don’t miss my presence.
My whole life I’ve tried to convince myself that it wasn’t my parents fault, that they were living fast paced lives and would have time for me eventually. But I find myself pondering on what they would do if i was gone, if one day i just left. How long would it take them to notice? If its not their fault for excluding me from their lives, then who’s fault is it?
michelle
Oh Taylor, I wish you were able to join our family. I have twins and a younger child who is 8 yrs younger – he is the one we have to be concsious to include appropiataly.
Taylor, You are special, youi sound like a lovely person (my twins are 15 turning 16 soon) both my twins will chat and tell us everything in the day, including concerns. But that is only because we have build and given time even if there is none. I feel yes it is up to your parents they are the adults and utmost responsible for your growth and wellbeing, but I also believe strongly in forgiveness. As sometimes parents do not know what they do, or doing….. and overlook the simple issues, that can become very major to the other person or people. But it does take energy to be a parent – lots of energy, many parents do not proitise there energies for what ever reason.
They may feel you are happier in your room, or you are ok, so have maybe left you to it, but they have not come aware (after years) that you are suffering, beautiful girl.
It is NOT your fault – only that you had begun the process to hide away (and understand fully – I used to do similar when I was a teenager to hide from being called lazy, and not being perfect). Which has not helped the situation, now it is too hard for you to come out and shine without becoming emotional or vulnerable to become hurt again.
It would be important for you to go out and get some work and be involved with things you enjoy, with people who do care and encourage – but please be careful not to go hunting for love, that would be dangerous. You are fearfully and wonderfully made and have been given a gift to be hear on earth, maybe to bless others and help others in similar situations. Can you talk to you older sibling or even the younger one (depending on age), and maybe share your feelings, care not to do it in emotion? You are special. remeber even though you are 15 you still are a child, who needs the basic needs that all others require…
Zach
Hello, im zach and im 14 years old now.i am the middle child of a older brother in grade 11 and a younger sister in grade 6. They are considered most favored out of my family. My brother gets straight A’s and he is talented at music and math mostly. since he is almost done high school year, my parents are caring, loving and more understanding about him and his life. My little sister is takes french immersion so she needs guidance on her french and she needs help with her other homework and such ( she isn’t that smart). Even though she doesn’t get good grades, she still is favored by my parents and is loved by them too. I have to live up to my expectations from my brother and always get put down from the dreams i want to be someday. Its not only from my parents too, its also from my cousins and aunts + uncle’s. i cant help to believe that there are a lot of others who feel the same way as i do. isolated, depressed, jealous and mistreated from others. i dont even think my parents even care, well at least they dont show it. I know for a fact that i am the worst sibling my parents ever had, my dad told me that himself. i hate being a middle child, i hate being un-loved, i have hated it and seen it from when i was so very little and the only way to express my emotions was through the artwork i drew. Because of this experience i have become more independent and self worthy. I don’t usually do these kind of stuff , but when i saw you guys i just felt that i can fit in and that im not alone anymore. š
Taylor
Zach- You’re coming to a state of mind where you are begging to realize how independent you can be, I’ve noticed it in myself the past few years also. Being a middle child isn’t easy, and many people who aren’t middle kids don’t think anything of the “syndrome” many of us have. But it is a personal and hurtful expierence that we as middle children struggle with. But I want you to know that you are definitely not alone, there are thousands of kids out there going through the same thing. Stay strong and keep embracing your art and the things you love, your going to turn out to be great someday!
sebastian
Zach – chill out, don’t over analyze this stuff – i’m a middle child, older and grown up. your parents care, they’re probably failing to show it, you’ll learn skills of independence as a middle child that will help you succeed and learn to be self sufficient at a much faster pace than either sibling. you’ll be fine –
cameron reynolds
u need to grow zach and stop worring about yourself ur parents dont love u for a reason he obviusly told you, you were the worst child they had so just stop
claire
I am the oldest child, i have two little half sisters they are about a year apart and I am about 6 years older then them. I think my middle sister and my youngest sister both take the personality of the youngest child because of the age gap (very spoiled) luckily I am not jealous. Any way you need to remember that sometimes the eldest child could feel like they don’t belong either they haven’t been the center of attention in a long time, luckily, my middle sisters plenty spoiled and enjoying being a middle sister.
Lucy
Yeah I know this is my 3rd comment,but this helps me express what’s going on.
Sometimes I believe I dont know what the word love is.
Love to me seems like hatred in my case.
And its crazy since im only 12 years old and I always die inside with every mistake I do.
Also,i came to where the point where I dont want to live any more.
Im glad I am not the only one experiencing something sound unbelievely true.
If only this all chanfes,we would all have better lives.
Aaron
Please don’t feel bad for posting multiple comments. Everyone one of us feels bad sometimes. Believe me you are not the only one that go’s through these things, my advice is to just be alone for a moment and remember that there are people out there who are in a similar situation. Just remember that when you post a comment you enter the hearts of those people.
jaialic
Currently I don’t know what to do.I feel hat I have no Love in my life. I really need help. I can understand what you all are going through. Please help me some one!!!!!!!!!!
Jason
just keep talking, I don’t have a solution for you but DON’T keep it to yourself, keep talking about it in a safe environment. I just discovered a website called experience project, where people tell their stories, and confessions. I got sooooo mad at my father and our dysfunctional relationship and went on there and wrote about it, just for example.
Mike
I am middle of three boys and can honestly say that none of the above really apply to us; we are three adults 48 47 and 45 and get on great with each other and our parents who are still alive and married. We are all individuals who have different traits and talents and all feel equally loved. When I was 14-17 I felt different to my siblings and was angry with my folks; this was not because I was a middle child but because I was am adolescnet boy. I say this not as a boast but to reassure all those who feel that their problems are related to their status in the pecking order, chances are the problems are due to hormones going nuts and finding a place in the world. Hang in their kids; it gets easier and you will grow to love and appreciate your family as you get older. Just relax and dont let them put a label on you – you are not a middle child you are a person who happens to have older and younger siblings.
Rachel
I’m 14 years old and i have a 16 year old sister and a 13 year old brother. It’s incredible that with all the comments people have made, that parents haven’t changed. I’m not in a terrible situation like some I you where your parents don’t even acknowledge your presence. However, my sister can yell at my mom for hours and my mom will do anything just to make her shut up. She doesn’t do any house work because she has “homework”. I have quite the busy schedule as well, we both play on the same soccer team (because my parents never put much effort in finding me a team), I’m on every sports team at school and I have my own homework. My brother can’t do anything for himself, he stays in his room all day and just plays stupid xbox. He hardly does any work around the house, he empties the garbage that’s it. Whenever I complain my mom says it’s more work than laundry. Yes, okay laundry’s not much work, but I also clean the bathrooms and vacuum the carpets. When we were younger and even now probably, my parents spent all of their money on my siblings. My sister played piano and between her competitions and dresses, she’d cost close to one thousand dollars a year! Same with my brother! He played travel hockey and plays in a high league of soccer. I’m an artist and I pay for a lot of my own supplies. Don’t get me wrong, I love my siblings we get along extremely well, but because of the lack of attention I get I have this constant obsession with making everything I do perfect. I always feel the need to be noticed. I am a very jealous person and lose my temper very quickly, I cry a lot and every year I have a complete meltdown. It doesn’t help that I am horribly bullied at school. But I have become very idependant and very determined. I am working on the emotional problems slowly step by step. I just want everyone who sees this to know that you shouldn’t give in to the depression, rise above it and become a strong idependant person. Because in the long run, you’ll be the successful one.
Angela
Hi Rachel, I’m sorry to read that you appear to be going through so much on your own. I am glad you remain hopeful and I pray that you will always keep that hope with you in life, no matter what. Parents are often so busy doing “stuff” to keep the family going that they can miss taking the time or even knowing the importance of getting the message across to their kids that they DO love them and really care. Get to know yourself and be friends with her because striving to achieve perfection will just hurt you emotionally and physically. There is a Christian organisation called CWR with excellent books to help you with your issues if you wish. I know God has heard your heart and I pray He helps you to see that you can trust Him and that He will help you because He loves you just as you are. Keep being creative Rachel & Take care x
Angela
I amend my comment to include everyone involved with or visiting this website in my prayers. Love and God’s helpful blessings to you all x
s
I’m so happy I read this,I thought I’m the only one.I’m a middle child of four and YES it is real.whenever I talk to my mom about it she tells me its in my head,and that I should change those ideas.wow reading those comments made me remember my childhood,I have attempted to commit suicide by stopping my breath about 5 times,its was really pethatic,I’m still suffering from it now,any solutions ?? š
Mpho Mokoka
This is partly true, I am a middle child as well but with me I am learnt to be more indpendant and very decisive because I had to depend on myself all my life. Having these good attributes, has built me as an individual. Yes, both my younger and older sister got more attention and I found ways to curb my lonliness.
Aaron
I am a 14 year old boy. I have 1 older and 1 younger brother. My mother clearly favorites my older brother and my younger brother literally says he is a god and my parents think so. My dream is to be a director but my family will never support me. Everyone says to get a creative outlet, I love to draw, my family hates me drawing. I get yelled at for drawing anywhere but my room but I am the only child without a desk. I have tried telling my friends but they are all only children,eldest or youngest and i receive the same response ”It doesn’t exist.”
So to anyone out there who may experience Middle Child Syndrome remember, It does exist no matter what they say, there are more people like you and whatever you do don’t let go and keep holding on.
Lucy
I have many special talents like drawing,writing,and singing,
But what happens everytime is that everyone laughs.
This causes me to lose my confidence.
when my little broher was like 4 or 5,he flipped me off!
I told my mom and she just mumbled and acted as if I was an orphan.
And I began hiding all my talents away from her also since I know she wont care.
If my elder brother was told to be quiet,she would say,”shhh!”
But im.a different story.
She’ll say,”shut the f**k up!god!”
Mom thinks were treated the same.
But were not.
Why would i be writing this anyways?
I am very scared of my mom since she yells,hits,and threatens me to much..
Taryn
hey lucy. I read all of your comments and I agree. love is alie and life is just a blob of mess. I feel as if middle children have the most talents. I love exactly what you do. I also luv music. But, no one cares of anything. My sister usually gets all a pluses in school. I get most a pluses and an a here and ther. My mom gets soo made at me for this. She says I have to get all a pluses. I tried telling mom and sister that do they act loke that with me because Im the middle child. They said no anad that middle child syndrom is a myth. THey also said that they dont like me because I have an attitude.
My younger brother is like the king of the house. My sisters like the queen. Shes older, he’s younger. Well ill be adding more, but I got to do homework. Bye
RJ
WOW, I always did believe there was something to being a middle child. I don’t agree with all of the symptoms, especially about the jealous of “everyone” else or fails to accomplish goals or dreams, but definitely very interesting. I am the 3rd born out of 4, and the oldest daughter. The second born (the other middle child) and I are the closest and are, in my humble opinion, my parents might tell you differently, very kind, generous, independent, and the most successful out of the 4. The eldest, my oldest brother, and the youngest, my sister, can be very spoiled, self-centered, and arrogant. For laughs, I might just add that the eldest and youngest are very liberal and me and my brother are more conservative. And yes, we middle kids ARE for sure the Weirdest!! I love all my siblings and get along with the eldest just fine, but it’s the baby that I want to throttle and yet at the same time I can’t shake that annoying need to protect and save her. The youngest and I agree to disagree, but I will take down the first person to say the same things that I do about her. I have also been the peacemaker and protector of the family. Everyone always says that the writer of the movie, “In her Shoes,” stole my story. I’m an attorney and my sister has dropped out of college twice. Not to downplay her intelligence any at all, she is smart and her 3rd attempt has been very successful. We are both in our 30s and regardless of my profession, I can’t WIN an argument with my mother when it comes to my sister. Even when my mom does acknowledge that “maybe” I’m right…she sometimes adds the comment, “don’t be so self-righteous!,” which she denies she has ever said. As a side note, my mom is the baby out of 4, which is what I have always attributed her bias to. My parents both have shown me and my siblings a lot of love, but we middle kids, I guess, just didn’t require as much as the other two, or maybe we did.
I think birth order definitely plays a part in who we become, but so do a lot of other factors: I was still very much loved, even if not always understood, by both parents; my faith in God (most importantly); and the close relationships with friends and other family members along the way.
My dad to this day says it best, “I guess, honey, the squeaky wheel always get the grease!”
Tamiah
Hi People!!
I am a middle child. I’m 14 years old and my older sister is 15 and my younger sister is 10. I feel like I wanna die almost everyday. My older sister is really pretty even though she doesnt make the best grades my parents praise her and treat her like she’s 18. My little sister and I don’t get along very well. She gets a lot of things new clothes and toys anything I want I can’t have it. I make straight A’s in school because school is the only place I can get away and be me. My two sisters are really mean to me and make fun of me everyday. I love music and I really love to sing but every time I try they put me down and laugh at me. Sometimes I just feel like crying I used to cry every night before I went to sleep. No one knows how I feel because no one cares to ask me. I get what people give me and don’t say anything about it. I stay in my room and keep to myself when I try to talk to my mom she just tells me that it’s all in my head. I don’t think no one will ever love me so I try to love myself as much as I can. I just want to get out of high school as soon as I can and then go to college and never look back.
Brooks
I feel the same way! I have an older brother who my parents will do ANYTHING for and a spoiled little sister. I am forgotten about a lot and when I do try to tell my parents how I feel they just laugh at me and say I’m being silly.
Jessie
That’s exactly how I feel. I’m the middle child. Im a girl and have 2 brothers. Everytime i get into an argument with one of my brothers my mom will ALWAYS take their side. All my mom wants to do is fight with me and even my dad notices that my mom has a really short temper with me. The other day me & my older brother wee arguing and he called me stupid bitch and screamed it at me and my mom heard so I was like , your not going tell him anything?! And I was crying an she was like ” you deserve it” . And at night she will always go into my brothers rooms an be like good night I love you and my room us right next to hers and she just walks past it even if my light is on. It just makes me resent gem more but i learned to deal with it
Sarah
I am also a middle child and have felt very isolated and ignored by my family my entire life. I am now 26 years old. I am one of four, however, the other middle child is the only boy and has always received a lot of attention for this. My family are quite dysfunctional anyway so I don’t think any of us had a great deal of support growing up.
I have always been a people pleaser, a bit of a loner growing up, and have always made an effort to keep the peace. However since becoming engaged a year ago, and trying to plan my wedding, my fiance and i have both been shocked at what can only be described as hatred from my family. My fiance’s family have been very supportive, while my family have described me as being “demanding” and “unreasonable”. This goes completely against what everyone else has observed.
I have not asked for any financial support from my family, I have merely asked that my father try on a suit so he can be dressed appropriately to give me away. I also bought bridesmaid dresses for my sisters and asked if they would be able to attend fittings. This has been with a 10 month time frame, and has been the extent of my “demands”. With only 2 months until my wedding, I have been forced to put a deadline on this request, and have advised my family that if they find playing a pivotol role in my wedding so stressful, they can attend as guests instead. However I am advised by my family that due to these demands and “ultimatums”, they are left with no option but to boycot my wedding.
The only effort to contact me that his been made by my family are phone calls from my parents, stating I am “poison” for putting so much pressure on the family and have been accused of trying to tear ,my family apart! I think this is probably the only time in my life I have ever asked anything of my family, as the rest of the time I have only every been invisible or there to serve their needs as opposed to my own.
Although I am the first out of my siblings to marry, I can’t help but think that if it was my older sister orr younger sister marrrying, they would be bending over backwards and probably paying for the event. This is based on the fact that when I went to university, I was forced to pay my way completely with no financial support, and have lived with no financial support since turning 16. On the otherhand, both of my sisters have been loaned money from my parents, and had university accomodation paid for by my parents.
My conclusion: MIDDLE CHILD SYNDROME DEFINITELY EXISTS.
Alexis
Its kinda strange seeing everyone else thats a middle child feel the same way i am feeling.My older brother could do no wrong nor my younger brother no matter how many times he has went to jail before he could turn 18( i know right.).Because i was the girl i had to be treated different on everything,some things yes i could understand but as far as disiplince there should be no difference and she never saw it like that.But yet when i bring this up to her she never thought that she was showing favoritism towards both of them and leaving me out.She made it seems like i was making this all up in my head.All i got was i am a negaitve person as much as she say that she was there for me like she was there for my brothers i barely remember her there helping me out.I barely talk to my older brother and me and my little dont get along at all.Now that im only 20 theres a wall thats builted around me because of her mistakes and what she let happen to our family.
Shanice
I am the middle child and the only girl but I am not treated like a baby. I am 14 years old. I actually am glad I’m the middle child. I have matured and became independent at a young age. I never asked for birthday presents or praise when I did something well. I never really felt jealous of my brothers because I never compared myself to them. I never really felt the need to get my parents’ praise. Everyone says my parents don’t love me very much but I don’t take it to heart. My parents love me and they know I am independent enough to take care of myself so they don’t spoil me like they do with my brothers. For middle children, I highly recommend you to have some sort of creative outlet to express those feelings. I felt depressed at some point but I got through it by writing.
joel
I’m in my 40 now and all my life I was able to ignore most of the issues. Constantly trying to please everyone, trying to be the piece maker on issues I know I’m right on. Having no sense of drive but wanting to be notice in all that i do as a musician, but don’t want to be in the lime light but want all the accolades in a career that your supposed to be noticed for. It’s a terrible position and I wish there was something that I could do to just stop it. Both my older and younger brothers have families, I don’t and on some levels, I don’t want to be in a relationship with a women doesn’t even intrigue me any more. I like my space but sometimes the loneliness becomes overbearing especially when you have no one to fall back on in times of crisis. My mom and pop have passed on now and I don’t fault them at all, because how are they suppose to know about these issue at the time when I was growing up. my mom was a single parent of three boys in the hood. And we all went to college.
I feel all the time that I’m losing especially in relationships. They are so tough to walk away from even when it goes so bad I want to hold on. So now I choose to not be in one so I don’t become co-dependent. It’s f’d up situation.
Chrissy
Hey im my mum’s last born nd my dad’s middle child. I experince this frm both my mum nd dad. Some days i cn’t handle it thn i jst exploded. Its so hard for me cause im married. I dnt knw wht am i doing wrng.
Lucy
I believe middle child syndrome is real since I’m always weird around people, my mom crushes my hopes and dreams while my younger brother is usually encouraged to presuay his dreams .my older brother is always center of attention due to his talent in music and me? I’m just a innocent girl who needs to be loved, not yelled at being called dumbass and threaten all the time.who throws a chair at someone (my mom did) for accidently spilling sauce on the floor? When my little brother did this, mom didn’t care .I was nearly killed sadly, this isn’t a lie. I’m only 12 and feel unloved.and lost sight of the whole world.I am very upset with something like this happening to me.I want my mom to care,i want her to quit babying my brothe and realize what she is doing to me.
Wylfred
I am a middle child too.
The problem is, my parents give extra attention to the others, especially to my elder brother. Every time I complains something about her dear son, she’ll be like I am starting a war. The problem is I just need her to listen, even if she’s not going to do anything about it!
Lee
I agree with most of you on feeling alone, left out,ignored depressed, low self esteem. I am in my 40’s now, and still deal with the middle child syndrome. When I was younger, especially in my teens, I was able to do so many things because I was ignored-I signed up to be a foreign exchange student, invited my girlfriends over all the time w/o asking for permision, etc. By the time my parents knew what was going on, it was too late to do anything about it! I say make your own life, do what you want (within moral and lawful limits),and enjoy! Screw those who don’t want to be around you or ignore you. Enjoy life! Don’t make the focus on what your parents don’t do, but make it about what YOU can do to improve your lot in life!
Jason
great advice, awesome!
Millie
Jeez, I heard of this but never really believed in it. Just read a few of the comments above and I can relate to you all. My older brother (19) is a compete arse he treats my mum like crap one minute and the next he’s as sweet as anything. I get he’s got issues we went through a lot as kids but my mum worships the ground he walks on no matter what he does. He got a’s and b’s in school and college and treated like royalty. I get one b and it’s ok. Well done. I never really bothered in school because no-one seemed to care if i did well. My little sister (14) is just as bad she acts dumb to get attention and of course it works. she sits and does stupid things when no-one is watching her she has to be centre of attention all of the time! I read that someone put about memories as kids playing with each other and getting in trouble well to be honest i never had that so I can’t miss it i’ve always felt like my mum hates me and doesn’t see me and so does my brother and sister. Well i feel a little better just writing this……
India
I’m as middle child and i’m always depressed because my little sister one year younger then me gets everything she wants even if i didn’t do anything. I get blamed because my mum always thinks i hurt her,my older brother gets loads of respect and i’m exspected to be like them.My mum doesn’t listen to me i ask her if i buy me something online but know instead she buys my sister everything she wants it’s so unfair.
Judie Wm's
Always feeling different…I sensed that I was adopted, or did something soooo horrible…then came the awareness of being a middle child and all that goes with that. I am in my 70’s, and continue to “work through” so much that was buried for so so long.
I encourage each middle child to write, talk, or whatever they need to do to ease their struggle….
I am never far from God…..
Daniela
I’m 16 years old and a middle child. I have an older sister and a baby brother and middle child synrome DOES exist. My sister gets all the praise for whatever she does such as her job and my little brother gets spoiled so much, recieves toys and clothes all the time. While I just get moaned at and told I’m weird and on many occasions my mum’s accused me of being on drugs… ?! I don’t live with my dad and I know his favourite is of course my older sister. They treat me like shit š
Kieren
I am also a middle child, I have an older brother and a younger sister. My older brother is loved by my mother and he is greatly respected by my father. They both have an attitude of great comfort towards him and seem to be able to communicate with him very well. They would always listen to his decisions first and then my younger sister. My sister, is also greatly loved and cherished by my parents, especially my father. My parents spoil her, and always seem to be patient with her. They never seem to be upset with her actions, and because of this she has an over-ego attitude. HOWEVER, when it comes to me, I find it really hard expressing my emotions and thoughts with my parents, this is consequently because they rarely do the same to me. I feel left out at times, and feel that I’m unwanted and believe that life isn’t worth living. Its also true about how I seek to find attention from my parents, It has really made me a bit immature, as i do stupid things in order to grab their attentions. However, within the family, my independance has grown, and I believe that I am the brightest because everything that I must do, I must do it myself.
Only discovered this today, after the past few days where I have deeply been affected mentally, as my parents seem to reject me.
:[
brosi
All of these stereotypes applied to me as a middle child, but I am happy with who Iāve become because of it. I was the most independent from an early age. I put 100% into everything I do (work/sport/etc) because I do it for myself because the only person I can let down is myself since Iāve never known, or needed validation from others. In fact, I donāt know how to take praise for anything I do because itās not what motivates me.
I am not, and never have been jealous of my brothers because of how they were brought up, they have their failings just like any other human, but both are successful and I am proud of them.
Ask yourself this, when you and you siblings used to go out on your bikes in the summer… or play footy in the park, two out-field one in goal… the laughs you had when all 3 of you got sent upstairs with no dinnerā¦ would you swap those times for being a single child?
Itās clear that the middle child is a parenting blind-spot, but I donāt know anyone who doesnāt have issues with their parents for some reason or another no matter which order they were born in. Be happy with how you adjusted to the cards you were dealt and who youāve become because of it.
Rachel
Agree 100% with you. I’m one of 4 and a middle child. We are all about 18 months apart and although I do believe there is something to be said about middle children, I wouldn’t trade the eldest or the youngest for anything. Birth order does build character. I also like your reference to the middle child as a “parenting blind-spot!” Perfectly stated!
Rachel
I’m the eldest of three girls, my mum has always favoured me and my dad has always favoured my youngest sister Melissa. My middle sister is called Andrea and I believe she suffers from Middle Child Syndrome. She is a compulsive liar and constantly steals things from people, she is 12 years old however she acts like a 5 year old. Ever since my parents divorced her behaviour has gotten worse. My mum gave up on Andrea years ago and so I’ve been searching on the internet for ways that I and the rest of my family can help her. I’ve asked my mum about family counselling, as Andrea isn’t the only one with problems (Our family’s a bit messed up) but she is completely against the idea. I don’t know what to do anymore…. š
Lisa
I’ve achieved so much in my life considering how young I am and I’ve achieved more than all my siblings combined and yet I still feel as though it’s never enough for my parents. I’ve always excluded myself as a child because I never felt I was good enough and I always felt like there are so many empty spaces in my life that only medals and ribbons could fill. Despite my active participation in school, I’ve always been very insecure and always felt that I could be better. Yet despite my constant attempts, never once have I felt that I have grown better. It’s sad being the middle child. When people ask if I’m a daddy’s or mommy’s girl, I just fake a smile then ever so silently say “I’m nobody’s girl.” And it pains me how much truth I find in my own words. :((
Scarlette
I’m a middle child and always feel like I’m the worst off. My older sister is Dux in every subject at school and always gets straight a’s. My mum favors her and my dad spoils her. My youngest sister gets everything as she gets heaps of clothes and toys and more money than me on my birthday from family members. She is spoiled by my mum and my dad favors her. I’m their least favourite even though they refuse to admit it. My sisters do everything together at home and I’m left out. By the way I’m 14. I’ve lived my life as the middle of the children who is hating her life. Why can’t I be loved as much as my siblings?
TLC
I am a middle child. I have exceeded anything that was ever expected of me, I have far out achieved any of my siblings. I have excelled in military, aerospace, missile development, technical training, engineering, radio personality, actor, wilderness exploration, firearms, weapons. I have excelled in fatherhood raising two children that are well respected and well achieved as adults. I have been a minister, consultant in computer and networking, started my own business twice, served as rescuer and finder of lost people in desert areas. Mined gold and discovered gem deposits and lost Indian ruins and artifacts.
Yet my parents still applaud the minor achievements of the crown prince (older brother 51 yrs) and crown princess (baby sister 47 yrs) as world shaking events. Younger brother has run a business for over twenty years and he too is passed over as a forgotten child much as myself.
I remain the black sheep of the family.
TLC
I also have three degrees, AAS in Electronics, BS in Technical Management, MBA in Technology Management. No one else has any education to speak of (high school is all the others have).
Maya
My older sister thinks she is the boss and my mom is always helping her and my little brother gets all the love and attention but I think my mom does not love me anymore. I always feel unloved and depressed because my family members look down upon me and hurt me emotionally to a point where I don’t want to live anymore
c.
Wow seeing this feels so weird… I’m the middle child outta 5 of us, I’m 20. I feel with my mum that she secretly hates me… My little lazy selfish 18 year old bro seems to get a ticket to paradise and sitting around. While I got kicked out at 16 because I was frustrated ,pregnant and missing my then absent dad. Its so fucked up. I never normally write a lot on these things and I’m not the type to moan. But this is surreal… My life… My experience…. Really?
victoria
i think that this “opinion” is right, i’m a middle child, second of three, and i feel like that alot. my older sister is autistic so she gets all the attention, and my younger sister is practically perfect (if it weren’t for her HUGE EGO) and mom and daddy dearest payed more attention to them than i ever did. mom says why can’t you be more like *younger sister* dad says set a better example for your *younger sister* i scream in my mind “why can’t you just accept me for me and support me?! i draw amazing stuff, everyone else says so, but you guys look at it real quick say oh ok and then walk away like it’s no big deal. like my art isn’t important. like i’m not important. what the article said about low self esteem? i have that. i’m often depressed too. i’m also pretty weird. i’m 17 and craving my parents attention. and they give my sisters more attention in a day than i get in a month. it SUCKS. i’m a middle child, i have a voice, and i think middle child syndrome is REAL
tricia
Hi Victoria, i,m a middle child too and i,m 39 and only started realising in the last 5 years the effects of this syndrome. For years i had been depressed and had this feeling that i was invisible and i believe this was at the centre of my feelings. Anyway i just wanted to say that being a middle child can mean that you can feel very isolated from your family however it also gave me the freedom from them to be more creative and carve my own path. I never wanted to be like my two sisters they are both attention seekers and i never was but i ve quietly achieved more in my life than both of them and that gives me a lot of satisfaction. So Victoria you can trailblaze your own life or
as a unique creative individual or you can copy your sisters for attention( you know you wont get). By the way i,m not advocating that you allow your parents to ignore you but you have to fight to be seen differently by them. Dont accept them telling you you cant have the same things your sisters get because your in this family too!! It just means youll meet resistance from them.
Good luck honey x
steph
Dude if my parents ever tried to tell me to be like my younger sister I would snap! Shit I would be like “Oh you talken to me? oh shit I didn’t even know you can see! Dam I thought I was invisible!-looks around- Well I’ll tell you why I don’t want to be like my little sibling,because it will make your ass happy! -walks away-“. Look just don’t care about them grow up move far away never seen them again leave who you were in the past(forget being to middle child lie to yourself), and be happy start your own family.
Steve
feel i am in a similar situation. Trying to please my family get put down and feel lost. Family all gather together for evening or day out. I never invertation or get a call. seem just an outcast. I have two elder sisters and one younger brother. they have kids i don’t at 36. IF I WENT MISSING FOR EIGHT MONTH I DON’T THINK MY FAMILY WOULD KNOW. going to stop feeling sorry for myself and Keep well away before it hurts my head any longer
Becki
The middle child syndrome, I am 51, and I’m just now learning that there actually is a “syndrome.” I have lived my life trying to be accepted by my Mother and Father. They are divorced and have been 39 years. I have 2 older sisters, and a younger sister and younger brother. My childhood was rough. I got good grades, over achiever, peace maker, etc. It has taken a very long time to put this all into perspective. But I know now, with therapy, there is such a thing. I hear a lot that I live in the past (mostly by my older sister and Mother) all the time. Well I used to live in the past, and for years tried to not let the past bother me but somehows it slaps me in the face just this last Christmas. Christmas always reminds me that I am not near as important that my siblings. I am not much for the holidays because of this . I don’t need material things, such as gifts. I would rather have the empty feelings filled. Or never ever have to feel these feelings from this day forward. Good luck to all of you middles. Get therapy. It is helping..slow but sure.