Hi, my name is Shannon. I’m a girl (DUH!) I am 13 years old and I am the middle child out of 5 girls. My parents want me to be like my older sisters, nice and perfect. My 3 younger sisters constantly get on my nerves and get me in trouble on purpose because they know I have a short-temper and my parents believe them over me.
My Mom and Dad went shopping one day and bought my older sisters new laptops and a mini fridge for their section of the basement and they got my little sisters each a Disney themed bouncy ball and didn’t get me anything at all. No joke! I always feel left out. Like no one likes me. My friends use me and pick on me because my parents home-school me (No, my Mom and Dad DON’T help me with my school work, I have to do everything for myself) and won’t let me have a phone when my NOT too much older sisters have phones. I’m teased and neglected and I have a few issues that I need to vent about, but my parents won’t get me to a counselor.
I know my parents love me, but they don’t show it very well. I have to do more chores than my sisters because they are too lazy and my 10 year old little sister is apparently too young. I was not allowed to wear makeup until I was 13, but my younger sister can. I can’t go on certain websites, yet my little and older sisters can! I can’t go see something PG, but guess what? MY FUCKING LITTLE BITCHY SISTERS CAN! I’m sorry! I just can’t stand it anymore. I’ve often thought of suicide, but I’m afraid. I even feel like God’s given up on me. I guess I’m an ugly, always-in-trouble girl. 🙁 Please give me SOME advice!
– Shannon
Caroline
Being the middle child is the worst!!!!!!!!! I’m 13 and I know how you feel , they always believe my older brother! He is 16 and has less chores than me it is so unfair he gets everything!! It is like I’m invisible! He was smarter than me when he was my age so my parents were always expecting me to be good .
No one
Hey, don’t feel too upset… I’m a middle child myself and my parents never listen to my side of the story. Just minutes ago my parents hit me with a stick saying it was my fault. My dad asked my older sister to do something, but she just told me to do it. I then said it was HER responsibility not mine but she was just sitting on her lazy bum pigging out. So I just got up out of my chair and just said “OH MY GOODNESS” in an angry way towards my sister. Then dad hit me without even bothering to listen to what I needed to say. Mom just watched and did nothing. But this is normal being the middle child. IT SUCKS.
Joshua
I’m going to be honest im a middle child with one older brother and one younger sister then when my parents divorced and my father remarried I had 3 more older sisters now you’d think life got easy we’ll you’d be wrong they where treated fine, and for the longest time (5 years old) I had to raise my self (not easy when your temper is short), and not get into trouble. Yea I had thoughts of killing my my family,and killing my self but I didn’t but the real thing to remember is how much more independent you are you can live a life with out your parents, and no im not going to lie it doesn’t always get easier but you always have to look forward keep going and think positively and it will get better. I’m 18 and it still happens to me but now from my mother but I don’t care Im looking forward and decided to become a pilot
Leeila
Aww don’t worry I feel exactly the same way! I have an older sister who’s a lot prettier than me and two younger sisters who are always getting on my nerves! My younger sisters always try to pick a fight and just generally cause so much hassle for my mum (who just started going back to work and works long hours, sometimes nights) yet they rarely get blamed for it. I’m have to do the ironing and clean the kitchen after every meal and my other sisters don’t. I don’t mind my older sister not doing it because she’s got her GCSEs but my little sisters who are 10 shud be doing something, as I have my exams as well and my little sister are apparently ‘too young’ which isn’t true because I started doing chores even younger than that! They’re always fighting between each other and when I have to prise them apart I always get blanmed for making things worse. I know it sounds stupid but they tease and bully ne because I’m the ugliest in the family and sometimes my older sister joins in and it can be really hurtful, yet whenever I comment back with a snide remark, they burst into tears and I get even more in trouble. I know I should try and ignore them but they know I have a short temper and try and get under my skin. Whenever I tell my mum she says just stop being a baby and ignore them. I get along ok with my older sister, however she can be really patronising and make me feel ugly and stupid. My mum is always spoiling her and my younger sisters and I feel left out a lot of the time. I sometimes feel really unworthy and whenever I try to talk to my parents about this they just don’t listen. I feel unloved and stupid and ugly and my mum once said I got ‘the bad looks of her and my dad’ which was upsetting as she basically told me I was ugly. I get really good grades in all subjects, better than all my sisters but I never get rewarded for it. I know I’m acting a bit whiny and bratty I love my parents and am very priviliged but I just can’t help having these feelings.
Tony
Hey Shannon,
Don’t know if you will read this but feel sad. Some times being sad for a moment lets you think. I’m 20 and I’m the middle of 5 siblings. Out of my older siblings I’ve been most successful. Got out of highschool and working. First to get a car and still in school. I don’t depend on my parents at all besides housing. Being the MIDDLE will make you the strongest one out of them all. One of the most memorable times for me is coming home to nothing. My job requires for me to stay till 12 at night. Coming home to a pitch black house. Looking for food in the middle of the night hungry and tired while backed up on school. These times caused me to cry by myself alone, but it is these times that has harden my heart and help me move. Hopefully those suicidal thoughts remain thoughts and if you need help post somewhere and I will try to come back to see. –STRONG BELIEVER IN THE KING OF ALL KINGS GOS
Hagan
Hey girl, Im 13 t00 and i have an older sister and younger. They get all they wont! One time we went school shopping and my sisters got something from Old Navy, Rue 21, and osh’ gosh b’ogsh. Did i get something? yeah, but only from Belks! Yeah its a clothing store but it only has baby stuff and old people stuff! I am really small for my age so i have to go to the children section and get stupid baby stuff! I hate it. Somethimes i want to run away to take the pain away but I cant. I know they love me but it dont seem like it…… I think about killing my self but i love life an im scared God wont take me. I hope we get better soon!
love hagan ( a middle “spoiled ass rotten brat) /;
Middle sucks
I completely know how you feel!!!!!! Many times I have pointed out to my parents they are being unfair. Sometimes they don’t even pretend to care about mr. I try telling them something and they will completely ignore me our even worse tell me to wait a second them listen to what my bro or sis have to say then get up and walk away. I have tried almost everything to try and get attention good our bad and even telling then I was going to rape someone then kill myself and guess what. THEY DIDN’T FUCKING CARE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Although I have many friends they all seem to be pushing me away. Being the middle child just sucks.
Sadies
Hi my name is sadies i no how u feel i have often felt the same way, my dad died wen i was five, i am the oldest out of 2 my brother never get n trouble my mom thinks i jus need 2 sto bein jealous but im not i feel left out
NELM
I feel ya girl
I’m 18, middle of 3 girls, and damn is that shit true.
I am the ugliest, the most neglected, and I do the most housework as well.
the only way I found to overcome this was to stop being jealous of the lazy, spoiled youngest and conceited, doted on oldest.
It’s a lie that parents don’t pick favorites. you are not the favorite, so you’re sadly going to have to forget looking for love in your parents, and make up for that shit with loads of love for yourself.
You, as the neglected middle child, will definitely be the strongest, the most independent, and the most mature out of all of them spoiled brats.
so fight on, sistah
Ann
My mOm went to kmart and bought my sister gum my brother a coke and guess what I got nothing! When I put the clothes away my mom says” good job” but when my brother or sister does she gIves them mOney! I just feel like running away and fucking killing my family!
Valval
Hi Shannon,
My name is Valerie and I am 12 years old. I have the same issue as you but I am the oldest child. I know lots of people think that the oldest child is usually the favorite, but not in my case. My brother, who is the middle child, oddly enough is the favorite. I have a younger sister who gets on both of our nerves. So if I hurt her, I get my phone taken away. If my brother hurts her, my little sister gets in trouble. He has rarely ever had any punishments in his life and I am always being yelled at and my dad tells me that I am the most annoying person in this family, I cause 90% of the problems in this house, and that everyone is sick of me. He calls me names like idiot, moron, and he calls me bad words too. He gets mad at me easily and sometimes hits me. Also when my dad yells at me, my brother turns into this sweet, innocent little boy and it annoys the heck out of me. Like today my dad yelled at me for picking up the plates and utensils in a way that would not get my hands dirty (I do the dishes as a chore) and my brother was like thank you for making me this grilled cheese mommy. I love you. Because he knew that they were mad and he didn’t want to get in trouble. And he said it in his “cute” little boy voice and he 10 by the way. On my birthday my brother forgot it was my birthday and my mom just yelled at me a lot and my brother got mad at me and my sister was annoying me as usual and my dad came home and said he would be nice to me, but he ended up yelling at me too and I cried in my room for the rest of the day. And on my birthday my grandma buys my brother gifts, but she never did that for me on his birthday! And I always get blamed for everything in the house. If my sister is crying, my parents always say to me: “Valerie! What did you do to her”? When I didn’t do it. Or when someone leaves a cup laying around the house they always think that I did it because they think I’m a slob and that I’m lazy. They told me that. My grandma always is saying how cute and sweet and nice my brother is and she says I’m not nice. Once she told me a story when I was about 6 years old about a little monster named Valerie who was 6 and was always mean to everyone. And my brother gets pretty much the same privileges as me. And I could go on and on about this stuff, but there is too much to explain. Life will get better and just remember there are probably people with more worse lives. I hope you the best of luck:)
Stay strong, Valerie
Katelyn
hi Shannon
I’m Katelyn and I feel the same way. I’m a middle child and I have an older brother and a younger sister. I feel like running away but then I would be to scared of what would happen then.
My older brother beats me and shoots me with airsoft guns which now I have welts and bruises up and down my legs. My younger sister gets me in trouble all the time if I touch her she starts whining and I get in trouble, I tell my mom how I feel but she tells me to FUCK off and my little sister just laughs.
one time me and my sister had to clean ”OUR” room together and I said ” clean the little corner of the room and I will clean the rest,but no she told my mom that I was being to bossy.” I had to clean my room all by myself which is huge, I feel left out all the time, I’m totally with u Shannon 😉 stay strong with me!!!
p.s I’m 13 years old
racheal
i am a middle child too but i live happily..no prob…
Rick
I feel exactly like you but don’t do suicide please! Instead take all those frustrations and put them in your education. By this I mean excel far beyond your sisters dreams! By doing this I just got accepted into MIT and I feel like my life has some worth if that great a college wants me. You can do the same if not better than me! I look forward to seeing you as congressman Shannon or dr. Shannon. Chase your dreams and don’t let your parents hold you back!
Dhuha
Hi Shannon,
My name is Dhuha and I am 23 years old. I am the middle child too I have an older sister and a younger sister . I understand your feeling of neglect and unfairness because i have been in your situation too, but guess what your life is giong to be better and better. And believe me YOU WILL BE THE STRONGEST of your sisters, because the older ones will try to satisfy your parents for the rest of their lives, and your younger sisters will depend on someone for the rest of their lives, while you will be the dependent one, the strong one and definetly the UNIQUE ONE. The only thing you need is to look after yourself! One day I just decided to look after myself and takecare of myself , and since then i’m leading a happy life. I finished my colledge and obtained B.A degree now i’m working and i feel really strong .
Looking back at my life I remember my own thoughts of suicide to get ride of my misrable life , but one day I thought that i am too precious to just end my life. And you dear Shannon are too precious to lose you.
Love always
Dhuha
Noor
You have to believe in yourself. You have to have some faith. Ask your parents and if they scold you like you can buy stuff your self then say that “Why did you buy for my big sister?” Ask your elder sister to share the items with you. Save some money to buy new stuff for yourself. It may take a long time but saving money is a useful habit in life. You wouldn’t lean on anyones shoulder but yourself. I know it’s hard but I think you need to calm down. Try participating something in school so that you wouldn’t always be with your annoying little sisters. If you are ever angry then count 1 till 100. Soon you wouldn’t be scolded for losing your temper. Try your best to ignore them. Remember this, find your own happiness. Waiting for being praise is a total waste of your time but if you still do want to be praise, be praise by someone you know who will surely praise you.
Anita
Hi. Everyone.
I am also a middle child, second oldest of 5 girls. I was treated very badly when I was a child, I am now 42.
I had a lot of therapy because of the abusive treatment I got as a child then in my early adult relationships with boyfriends.
During my childhood, I had the characteristics of the middle-child syndrome but also ALL of the duties of the oldest but with no love and approval. Resulting in me having been a codependent with addictive personality traits. I became a workaholic and love addict.
I have now come to the conclusion that I have become a lot stronger and than the rest of my sisters. I have resolved all the hurt and pain of my childhood and early adult years.
As a child I was always compared to my other sisters and was constanly told that I am no good, not smart enough, not sociable enough and useless etc. Given hand-me-downs, told to be accountable to my older sister’s mistakes, told off a lot, had to be perfect to get noticed (but didn’t). I was also told to be in control of myself and was forced to look after my oldest sister – who was childish, agressive and rebellious. I became a control freak later in adulthood becasue of this behaviour.
I looked after my late father, now looking after my 75 year old mother, when my other sisters are either married with kids, happy and care-free, going out, living out their dreams etc.
I am now single, in my early forties, with no job, no husband/boyfriend, no money to go out or shop for good things etc. I had a lot of time on my hands to think, heal, become wiser etc. but I now feel freer, somehow contented even without company, or emotional support. I have learnt to be my own person, re-parent myself, love myself and be kinder to myself. Importantly, undo the emotional damage of my childhood.
I really do believe if nobody loves you, no matter what, you must love yourself. It’s hard because I have had no healthy role models, but it gets easier. Pain is a great teacher. I know that God loves me and no matter how alone I feel, he is there to for me.
Being a middle child has all its problems, added to this the abusive experiences make it ten times worse. But there is hope. Hope kept me alive because for years and years I felt very suicidal. The only thing that kept me going was hope.
Love and peace
Anita
Hunny
That’s so like me. I’m 25 now.I always hate it when I have to take the responsibility although I’m not the oldest. I have one older brother n two younger sisters. Your problem exactly like mine. I’m the only child that my parents don’t celebrate a birthday, but I don’t realize that bcos I’m still small. But it change when I’m turn 9, they attitude change. Just because I made my sister crying my father say I’m adopted. After that I’m crying all day long. Then, they say I need to do the chores bcos I’m the oldest sister. I hate I. When I want something, they never buy it for me, so I had to use excuse n lied to them to use for school studied. I’m jealous when my siblings ask them to buy something, they always get it. But,me they tell at me. My father said I don’t help with the chores so I can’t get anything when I’m 16 n my mother tell me for looking for a job when I ask her to buy me something. In my siblings, I got the good look so im kind of popular when I’m a baby but I’m not smart. I think bcos of that they start to change their attitude bcos they think I can’t take my study further like my other siblings. Now I have to take care of my parents n they say they will pay me. But when I ask for the money they said it’s not enough bcos the have to give to my other siblings for allowance for the college. Now I’m jobless n penniless. I don’t close to anyone bcos they always bullying me and condemned me including my family. Ha ha ha no wonder I’m kind of a loner n don’t like to socialize.
ruth
aww. poor liltle thing. let me give it to you from a last born point of view. being a middle child is not easy i know because of the way my dad treated my brother who is the middle child. am the last born in my family and it its not as easy and very nice as poeple think. my brother and i didnt get along much. i felt that distance even though we lived together. as time went on, i felt sorry for him and deciede to get closer to him. we became so close that it made my dad treat him better. your parents dont pay much attention to you because they know youl be fine. they expect you to follow in the footsteps of your older siblings. iv seen this happing in many families and the solution to your problem lies in the hands of the younger siblings. try this. try to love to the fullest and make them feel like they are the ish. then youl see how it goes.
arah
hi, shannon. i am also a middle child, but i only have a older brother and a younger sister. (im a girl). i feel the excact same way that you are feeling. i also haver thought of suicide, but i dont do it. i dont know if i could give you advise, but let me tell you, i hope it gets better for the both of us. =(
Aniya
Hi Shannon. I am also a middle child of 5 with 2 older sisters and 2 younger sibilings. I am 20 yrs old and all I can tell you is that it gets easier. The treatment doesnt neccesarily go away but it gets better. You have to stop looking towards your parents for praise and look within yourself. Everything you do to better your life, be selfish about it! Thats what you have to do and thats how youve gotta be. I joined so many clubs, got a job, played a sport and won queen just so I could get some kinda praise but it never happened. Just today I realized that my life is my life….your life is your life and you should live it for you and no one else honey. Go ahead and say F the world to relieve the stress that has been building up inside of you but then, continue to strive in what you are good at w/o being bitter b/c thats only hurts you and not the one youre mad at. Hope I helped. Oh yeah! Go buy yourself a ball and play with it:) I promise it will make you feel better