My Childhood

 

I was a typical middle child. No love, my parents abandoned me for my little brother. I gave myself birthday parties, and nobody came. I was never given a proper education because my parents hated me. I often had to find dinner from the garbage because my parents did not feed me. I’ve had major identity crisis since the age of 3, not knowing who i really am. I have often wondered why i was concieved. Then i realizied it was so my parents could have 3 children and not pay attention to me. I was a mistake. The condom broke. They showed me. My life was a lie.

Megan

The Lost Sister

 

I guess my story is all too familiar and not at all unique, but I still feel the need to share it.

All my life I’ve struggled with being a middle child, sandwhiched in between two sisters born 2,5 before and 2 years after me. I’ve always been the odd one out, the odd ball, the weirdo who as a child hid in the closet with her books and talked to herself. When I hit puberty I was described as moody, difficult and impossible and I spent most of my time in my room, scribbling in my journal and writing obscure poetry about how awful life was. I still tried my very hardest to please my parents and make them notice me. It was a tough job, I’ll tell you… My sisters were both very successful competetive riders and I was the groom, always on the side lines, taking care of the horses, rooting for my sisters and being pushed out of photos taken by our proud parents.

I moved away from home at an early age, to attend high school in another city. It was a relief to stand on my own two feet and leave the bubble of never being noticed. I am now 24 years old and to this day I still crave the praise and attention of my parents: two things that they squander mainly on my little sister. I’m at the bottom of the phone list, when there’s a family gathering coming up I always hear about from my sisters, I rarely receive a direct invitation. When my parents call me, 9 times out of 10 they want to ask me how my younger sister is doing and if I’m looking out for her. It makes me feel unimportant and replaceable.

Some people think this whole middle child syndrome discussion is stupid and just a way for chronically wronged people to blow off some steam, but I think that’s over-simplifying the matter and offending those of us who grew up in this reality. I can still feel sad thinking about how my parents would make us take turns playing with toys or having candy handed to us by saying “Oldest first” or “Youngest first”. No one ever thought to give me the first turn, not once. I really don’t want to be one of those people who clings to old issues from the past but fact is that this is still very much part of my life. My parents are planning a trip this summer and my younger sister has been offered an indefinite loan so she can afford tickets and accommodation. I’m expected to pay for myself.

The biggest effect of my middle child syndrome is that I’ve grown a bit distant from my family. I’m engaged to a wonderful guy and we get more support and emotional validation from his family. My relationship with my fiancée is my future and I’ve decided to invest energy in our life instead of dwelling on my family situation. I hope I’ll someday start feeling good about being me, being in a happy relationship, having wonderful friends and a meaningful career has gone some way towards easing my sense of being odd, strange and “wrong”. I pray that all middle children suffering from this syndrome one day will reach a point where we all feel that we are unique and worth just as much as our siblings, regardless of how we’ve been treated and still are being treated by our parents!

Emmy

The Odd Child Out

 

Being a middle child really makes me frustrated. Mostly when you have a big sister and a little sister. I always think that my big sister likes my little sister better than me. Maybe because the youngest child gets mature faster. My big sister is always telling her to do her favors. Whenever I ask of why she doesn’t make me do favors, she says that she doesn’t trust me. My big sister believes that I am the incompetent one. She thinks that my little sister does everything best.

During weekends when me and my family hang out, my dad is always telling me to go with my mom everywhere. “Dena, go to your mother and her relatives in a car home. Your sisters and I will take a taxi ride together home.” says my dad. Sometimes I feel left out and that nobody likes me in the family. I don’t even think my dad likes me that much. He is always wanting to be with my other sisters and pushing me aside to my mom. Once, my dad only wanted my sisters to come with him at grocery shopping. “Dad! Why can’t I come with you?” I say. “Just stay with your mother. Your sisters are the ones that know how to carry the groceries.” says my dad.

I believe that the middle child syndrome affects how I learn. The embarrassing thing is that, my sisters know how to speak Chinese fluently and I just suck at it. My little sister is always showing off. I believe that she is always better than me at everything. She is the talkative one and to strangers and I’m the quiet shy one. I’m also the one that doesn’t have a deep voice. My little sister’s voice is deeper than mines and everyone makes fun of me. Even my sisters do. In the car, my little sister is sitting next to my big sister talking and I’m just the one next to the car door staring outside of the window not talking.

Many people in my family don’t realize that I try so hard to get my attention. I always scream out loud in my house saying, “NO ONE LIKES ME!” When ever I make an achievement, no one seems to care. I try so hard to make achievements so people in my family will like me again. Everyday, I just think I’m in everyone’s way in the family.

All I can say is, my parents suck. They don’t make my siblings and I treated equally. They treat my sisters a billion times more special than I. I hate being the middle child and because I always get blamed for everything.

To all of the middle children that feel the same way, good luck to you because it’s going to bite you on the butt for the rest of your life. Most people say the middle child are always the under achievers. Well to my opinion, to those who think that, there are many people born middle that I know. People such as Donald Trump, Julia Roberts or, Tim Allen were born as middle children.

So, even though the middle children don’t get as much attention or they are often called as under achievers, well I believe that we might get bothered when we are younger but, we are actually smart and trying hard. Maybe we might turn out as better than our siblings. What do you think?

Dena

Middle Child in Late Years

Hello, My story may be unique, in that I am 72 years old and a Middle child of nine children. I am in the process of writing a book about my childhood.

While researching, I have noticed many difficulties which may have been caused by being the middle child , even though there was a separation of many years from the oldest child to the youngest.
I know that I stuttered very badly as a child and it continued until I became an adult. I also remember having terrible nightmares, which I still have today. I have sought counseling for some of my marital problems, which may, or may not stem from my childhood upbringing. I do remember being left out of many situations as a child and pushed aside by my siblings.

I have not drawn a  definite conclusion yet as to the affect of “middle child syndrome”, if it exist. Nontheless, there is a question…..

Ralph

Middle of Five

Although my parents give me the least attention, i get attention. Althought my parents give me the least, at least they give me something. Although my parents do more for my siblings, they do things for me. Although my parents love me the least, they still love me. We middle children should accept this and not let it get us down; we are better than our siblings and parents and we will be/are better parents than they were/are. As the middle child, i have noticed that other middle children get less attention, too, but those children are intelligent, great, even. We cannot let middle chid syndrome get the better of us. We must accept middle child syndrome and not let it take us. Unfortunately, not everyone sees this, not because they are unintelligent, but because i, for two and a half years, was the youngest, before my younger brother, than sister came. Although only the middle chid for two and a half years, my older brother has transformed into someone who gave up on academics and decided that it is better to be ‘cool’. He is distanced from the family, and i do not want to become like him. We must know that at least we are loved, even if only a little. Yes, we aren’t liked as much, but that cannot affect who we are. We cannot let it.

– Bilaal