Being the Middle Child

Being a middle child really sucks. I am not generalizing this statement, because middle child syndrome is very real. It is a condition that continues to affect millions of people around the world, including me.

I hate my middle child personality, it is like a disease inside me. I have never felt I truly belonged. All the attention were given to the first and last child. I feel that everything I do goes unnoticed, sometimes it seems that I was not intended to be part of the family. Middle children are the black sheep of the family. Middle children are the outcasts. Yes, I was always aware of middle child personality, they say that middle children are underachievers and inferior compare to our siblings. I personally do not believe this. Since I was a kid, I was driven to achieve things just to be noticed. While being successful at being praised and honored, I still didn’t feel loved at all.

I think middle children are really talented individuals. Well, I’m not a professional artist, but I can say that I’m pretty artistic compared to my other siblings. But still, I always feel that there is something lacking, that feeling prevents me from pursuing my dreams and ambitions. I feel that before I can live my life, I must first move on from the past, which is very hard to do.

I am already 22 years old, still single and living on my own. I hope that all these will pass, and one day I will look at myself and be proud of who I am and what I have achieved, not for the acceptance of others, but for myself.

I strongly believe that good parenting must be practiced by all aspiring parents. In this way, unloved children like me would not continue to suffer. Middle children deserve better.

53 thoughts on “Being the Middle Child

  1. I’m a middle child and absolutely have the “syndrome”. Both my sister (older) and brother (younger) have always hated me. Both of our parent’s have now passed, i cried harder for my dad when he died because he paid me just a little more attention when he clearly saw my mom playing favorites. Since my mom died, neither have tried to contact me. I sent my neice and nephews birthday cards, not so much as a thank you. Sent my brother and his wife birthday cards, not even a phone call. I don’t get cards from any of them. I recently saw my niece at the movie theater and she looked past me as though i was a stranger, and i said ot my husband…she doesn’t even see me..nope she doesn’t. so i said hello to her, and the look was like..ummm i may have seen you before you must be a friend of my mom’s..unreal. They won’t come around not holding my breath for it either. one of my favorite excuses for my brother not to talk to me was who i voted for to be our next govenor..and this is not a joke. Very serious. This is the mentality i must deal with. i was hospitalized 8 time in 28months with serious issues, not ONCE did either my sister or brother inquire w/ me, send a get well card, nothing they didn’t even call my husband to see how i was. In all honesty God could call me home tonight and they wouldn’t know i was dead. sucks to be the middle’s been hell for 46 years when it comes to my family. The way they treat me has also affected my two children as they are snubbed by these people too.

    1. Dear Deanne,

      Sorry to hear that. I know how terrible it must feel. You’re being the better person by making an effort to keep in contact with them. They will realize one day they wronged you and your family

  2. Still im the least favorite! Im aways getting yelled at even when I dont do anything. Its mostly with my little sister though. She makes up lies to my mom and then she yells at me and then im grounded. And lets say my sisters name is Lindsay and she gets a whole lot more than me. She gets 5 dollars a week of even more money, she got a laptop when she was 6 (shes 7 now), and she got a new bike when I had to use my older sisters old bike. I dont get any good attention and when I do something good its always “do better next time!”. My older sister was always hitting me, lieing on me and blaming stuff on me when we both did something, and she was telling her friends that i was in a special needs class when i wasnt. Ive always been home school and ive never been in a school before. But now that she’s 19 I don’t talk to her. She’s busy with work and college so sometimes i don’t see her for a few days and now she wants to act all nice like she was never mean. With my grandma and grandpa they treat us equally and the same with my aunts and uncles. And what makes it worse is that both of my parents and the youngest so they favor my younger sister over me and when she messes with me they say she will grow out of It. I was happy until I was 5 which is when she was born. And she gets to hit and kick me all the time because she is small but if i even tap her shoulder i get yelled at. I’ll be happy when I get to move out and block people that seem to hate me for no reason.

  3. hey middle kids! So I am 14 and the middle kid of two other sisters. I notice how I can seriously relate to a lot of these comments. My family is especially sports centered and my sisters are practically sports prodigy’s. I on the other hand have almost no skill. I’m the more academic one in the family, but even my grades don’t compare to my sisters. They get A’s without even trying. I have to struggle to get to where I want. I don’t always find it fair. I’m not someone who falls under their favorite category so I get brushed off a lot. I remember one year we barely celebrated my birthday because my little sister had a swim meet. I spent that weekend by myself at home with my older sister. She said happy birthday and that was it. Not so happy birthday. I feel like I’m expected to always one up my sisters in everything. I can, but I realized that I really didn’t need to. It was unnecessary for me to please my parents if I wasn’t happy with it. That was right before 6th grade that I decided to worry about myself, worst year of my life. I got yelled at a lot because although I was meeting just about all of my own personal goals, I wasn’t meeting my parents. That’s when I started freaking out again because I was getting compared to not just my sisters but my friends too, by MY PARENTS! Now I’ve been reflecting a lot on myself and I realized that I’m the better of the bunch. I’m not spoiled, I think things through, and I don’t need to fight for attention to feel great. I don’t have an ego. I meet my own goals, great for me. I watch my sisters work everyday for attention from everyone around them, not just my parents. I don’t need that attention. They deny flaws, I accept them. They won’t admit failure, I work to make sure it doesn’t happen again. There is a great advantage to being the middle kid. You are independent and care about others and have a good sense of self. Stop pleasing everyone for attention, you don’t need it. Your potential is far greater than everyone elses. Do what I did. Set your own goals, personal goals. Don’t tell anyone about them, just make them. And then work to reach it. By choosing to please yourself you’ll be less stressed, and you’ll do better in all you do. Don’t indulge yourself like the youngest and don’t be controlling like the oldest. When you finally get the attention you want, you will realize it isn’t exactly what you want. There’s more stress and drive to please everybody with it. Do what I did. Don’t worry a whole lot about what others want you to do. Worry about what YOU want for a change. Then reward yourself with a chocolate bar every one and awhile for reaching your goal. When people ask you to do something, do it if it doesn’t cross you boundaries. Like chores for example. My sisters don’t do anything so I do all the laundry and stuff around the house. They clean, that’s it (it isn’t necessarily a good scrub either). So just do the chores without arguing move on so they would leave you alone. Even better, you come off as the incredibly humble person you are. But in the process your parents may feel bad about the attention and stuff. Whatever. If they do don’t think “you just noticed?! WTF?!” Think “I did fine so whatever.” That’s my advice. Oh! A little tip for school goals: think like this ‘my goal is to pass. If I get an A than awesome.’ You’ll be surprised how much better you would feel when you see that A+ 😉 Hugs to all you middle kids. I’m supporting you! 😀 –forget-me-not

  4. i feel all you people! ah, i’m a middle child, but sheeeeeit, i’m the one that’s done the most. i think it’s a privilege to be that middle child. i’m the smartest, for sure, out of 3 brothers. ya’ll niggas need to stop crying.

  5. Hello other middle children. Im 15 years old and I am also a middle child. I started to notice i had the middle child syndrome when i went to junior high. I have a younger brother and an older sister. Well to start, my younger brother seems to be better than me. He gets better grades, he a good dude and he win the chapionship in football. My older sister is a loser. She smokes and drinks and gets in trouble with the law and she only 17. They seem to praise my little brother and worry about my sister and not care about me. Um, the both of them pretty much get whatever they want, they both do whatever they want and Im only noticed when I do something wrong. I even got a 100% on a county test and only got a good job kiddo. I fell like Im unattached to my family. I love my mom and Im cool with my step-dad but it seems like Im just not loved as much as my other siblings and sometimes even the dog. I read most of the other comments and all I can say is that Im finallly feeling like someone else out there cares.

  6. I am 15 and the middle child. I have two brothers, my younger one I’m constantly fighting with and my older one just ignores me. Whenever I fight with my little brother my parents take his side no matter what, my older brother and I used to be really close but now things have changed he never talks to me which makes me feel alone. I have never really felt accepted by my parents, they seem to only ever focus on my brothers. My younger brother is just fabulous with his amazing spelling and high grades, and my older brother seems to get all the attention because he is the complete opposite. My older brother gets C- & D’s and gets attention because of it. I on the other hand am not great at anything but I’m not bad, I a pretty solid B+/A- Student and feel left out because of it. I feel as if to get anyone’s attention I need to get really good grades or get really bad grades. Once I was feeling really down, because I was feeling really overloaded with all my work and I went to bed without dinner. I lay there all night waiting to see if anyone would come in to see how I was doing, but they never did, they didn’t care that I was suffering or they just didn’t notice.

    I hate being the middle child

  7. I agree 1000 times with the 22 year old. Im Nicole , im 13 years old , have 3 sisters & even though that means there are 2 middle childs , I was origanally the middle one before the youngest one. Well anyway , like thee 22 year old said , I try my hardest to get my moms attention , straight A & B’s while my others sisters got C & D’s . I am very artistic , alot of times it is to get my moms attention of how facinating the drawing was , I was in the spelling bee , class student council & got a reward for being one of the best math students in my grade , but still I dont really get the attention my other sisters get when the do something good . Whenn I noticed that I broke down. I started getting C’s in school , ditching class , talking back , being rude to everbody , I even became depressed for a MONTH , but did she notice? NOOOO , after everything I pretty much did for her , help her with the divorce , help her when my older sister just kept giving her trouble , take care of my little sisters when my older sister was to stuckup to do it . Well I dunno what to do anymore , ive lost myself , I dont draw anymore , I hate math , im starting to suck at spelling . All so I can get attention . And all get is “Youve changed” -.- , why thanks for noticing it mom.

  8. Hello middle child companions. I’m 13 years old and I feel like I don’t belong in my family. It’s as if my mom doesn’t even care about me. Every time my little brother and I get into a fight, I’m ALWAYS GETTING BLAMED! It’s cruel and unfair. My mom claims that she says it’s fair but I have a feeling that she favors him, along with my older brother.

    Not only am I a loner, but I feel like I don’t have a name. I feel like I don’t have a title of my own. I’m always being called a kid (a sterotype that is truly cruel) and that I can’t do anything right. I’m very outspoken and that only increases the trouble that I get in. My mom often calls me ‘mean’ but she doesn’t realize that she (along with my 2 brothers) is that reason why. I have a mind of my own and I think a lot of people don’t like to see that in people. I’ve spent my whole life feeling alone. God bless all you out there that suffers the burden!

  9. I’m a 13 year old girl and I’m the middle child of 3 older sister and younger sister and I am the black sheep of my main family ( siblings,aunts,uncles,parents).I try to get noticed by my family but I’m just ignored because they don’t pay any attention to me so they say I’m shy and quiet but my cousins and friends say I’m funny and I’m really outgoing and I talk a lot. I can tell my mom’s favorite is my older sister and my dad’s is my younger sister but they say there not when I was talking to them. And I want to be a Actress/Director but my mom says no because I’m black and I’m not Jewish. But my younger sister want to be a songwriter and my mom is always talking about how she can really be a songwriter. And I have noticed that I talk a lot around my friends that my family because I don’t want to say the wrong thing and if I do get yelled at. And when I get older and have kids I wouldn’t want to have 3 kids because I would be afraid that I would like my middle child the most because I wouldn’t want him to feel like how I did. I do remember thinking that when my parents have my younger sister I’ll be ignored and I had said it and I got yelled at. I know when I finish college that I’m moving AWAY from my family. I’m never told that I look cute or pretty because I know I’m not so I like to wear makeup a lot. People only say my hair or clothes look nice. And I’m only around my friends 3 months out of the year because they all live around my Grandma and I’m home schooled so I like to be in my room a lot or on the computer. And I try to do my best at things but it seems like its never enough for them. I really like to be around my friends more than my family because I can be more open without being yelled at. The only time my mom seems to want to be around me is when she’s doing my hair. And my mom says I have this sad look on my face but It just looks that way from being sad and left out for many years. So I’d rather be alone in my bed or around my friends which I know it doesn’t sound right but I’m more relaxed around them. When I do try to talk to my parents about my mom just says “Oh I’m sorry you feel that way” hugs me and walks away like everything is ok or they will laugh and says what do you want me to do about it.

  10. Every story i just read had me crying, it was hard for me to read without looking away knowing how much i relate to all of this, i am 17 and i am the middle boy with an older brother and younger sister.

    I always spend time in my room feeling seperated from my family, i play soccer and i was once good at it when i was younger but as i got older i couldnt compare to my brother and sister who are the SOCCER SUPER STARS. My hobbies are sketching, playing the guitar, expspanding my imagination, and best of all makeing my own short films, i want to persue my dream to being a ‘film director’ i had bought myself a camcorder to record the different worlds i can create through video, this is the one thing that makes me happy an uniqe between my sibblings, my videos are ok to my parents, but to many other friends and families, i get alot of support witch keeps me going, i get more attention from my friends then family. i do my best to make everyone happy and leave me ending up with the misserable things in life, because what puts a smile on my face is seeing others smile 🙂 I have a girl friend and she chears me up everytime i need it, even though i cant see her when i need her i still manege to get to meet her through out the week, ive been with her for a year and 7 months and im sure it will not end.

    Just recently my sister had told me that my parents and her where going to go to disnyland, somone like me who is a child at heart would love to go, and also with my cousins from mexico. They planned this trip for over a month without letting me know, they didnt bother telling me untill the 2 days before, it just hit me how they didnt bother asking me at all, im always left out, my brother is old enough to go whenever he wants but me i just felt like they dont see me, i tell my self im adopted, and to myself i believe it, i have middle child syndrome and i also wish all of you luck! it sucks haveing to go through this

  11. I’m 46 years old, the middle of five siblings and could never understand why I felt the way I did – unloved, unwanted, in the way, even unliked – I thought my parents surely loved us all the same and that the way I felt was my problem, that there was something wrong with me, for sure my eldest sister didn’t like me always treated me really badley (still does) but surely the rest of the family liked me. Then why did/do I feel this way? One of my sister’s told me years ago I suffered with MCS but I thought she just said it to hurt me (I had not heard much about it and had never read anything), well I have just spent nine hours reading about MCS and reading lots of ‘middle’ child bloggs and for the first time I feel I understand and I feel better knowing there are so many other people out there that feel the way I do (sorry that so many suffer, it’s not fair but the relief), to know it’s not a phychological problem but a result of my upbringing. I know that if I suggested MCS to any of my family members they would laugh – just make fun of me again, I’d be told I was stupid despite the fact I have done better for myself than most of my siblings. Probably the biggest thing: I’ve always tried to be helpful (I see now I was looking for acceptance and love) and I helped to look after my Mum for two years before she had to go into hospital, brothers and one sister did nothing and one sister helped on a few occasions and I do mean a few as in three, my mum has passed away 11 years ago now but my father only remembers the help my sister gave, he say’s she’s the one that helped him – seriously she helped on three occasions and I was there twice a week for two years!! I’m so forgettable over a thousand hours of help from me forgotten, about ten hours of help from older sibling remembered!! There are hundreds of occasions I could talk about through childhood and adulthood that hurt, but you all know………….. keep strong everyone. K

  12. I read each and every one of your comments, and I really did cry. I don’t think I have ever cried that hard in my life. These things that have happened to you guys are the saddest things ever, and I can relate to all of them. I’m relieved now, because I thought that I was the only one.

    I am 13 years old. I have an older brother, and a younger sister. I sometimes can’t stand living under this roof with everyone, and I seriously just want to die. People who make you feel like that are people who think about themselves, they don’t care, they don’t have a heart. We middle children have something special and unique, so why can’t people see that? I don’t get it, but sometimes I just feel like my head is about to explode. I can’t be the best. I try, but I never get what I deserve. Getting “debbie downer sayings” or anything that discourages me makes me think that I should just…die. I have been planning a one-way ticket to another country because I seriously can’t put up with anything. It’s like my family locks me up in a cage, and I never get to reach for the stars. One day, I’m going to get out and visit all of the places around the world like I always wanted to do ever since I was little, and just completely throw this pain and drama away.

    I recently was on vacation and it seems like my brother and sister were making fun of me. Everything I do is either weird or wrong. It’s not true, because I try to do everything right just to make other people happy and I get nothing. I felt so much anger inside of me that I just wanted to scream on top of my lungs. Thanks to my family, I can’t sleep, I can’t dream, and I can’t live.

    I do feel for all of you middle children syndrome victim, and wish you luck!

  13. I am having a real problem with 3rd child syndrome. I am almosr 60 but it seems that this is pretty obvious that these kids are in a qa bad spot. I am in a family of twelve but my Mom died when i was eighteen with nine siblings under me with an drunken father . I know maybe this is a different circumstance but I have never felt that I have fit in . I have researched this online and know that I fit into this spot.

  14. Hi my name is Margaret and I am a middle child as well…but what sucks even more is that I have two siblings before me and two siblings after me. Let me tell you about them and why they get “special” treatment. My sister(eldest) is very smart, pretty and just all right great. My older brother needs and has always needed because he is the derelict in our family so of course our life has always revolved around him. The 1st brother after me has a lot of allergies and needs medical attention (I never and still don’t have anything against him) Then we have the baby…Mommy’s little boy if something isn’t right for him Mommy gets upset. I never saw a therapist but am afraid to because I feel like they will mock me. I’m 19 years old and I thought this stuff was over but I found out today it’s not…I threw my baby picture off the wall to make a (dramatic) statement that this is how I have felt since 10. I don’t think it’s normal for a ten year old wanting to move out. College is the best for me…I don’t look forward for holidays I want to stay there all year long. I hope someone responds to me because today of all days made me think back to my past and I didn’t want that. I just want someone to talk to other than my boyfriend or best friend, someone who understands this syndrome.

  15. I have MCS. I have an older sister (14) and a younger sister (6), and I am 13. These are just some of the things that make this unfair:
    -Bigger rooms
    -The babysitting jobs
    -Has “special bond” with my mom; she calls her her “friend”.
    -More attention (I painted a picture, and my mom just shoved in the back of her bookshelf. She paints 100s of pictures a day and every single one of them gets put on the refrigerator).
    -ALSO has a special bond with my mom because she’s the “baby”.

    My older sister and I were both on the honor roll last year. My mom bought her a frame and she has her’s hanging on her wall. Mine is in a folder in the garage, if not thrown away.

    We are both straight-A students, but I overheard her telling my mom her grades, and she said “Oh, well that earns some grade money!” But since she’s in high school and I’m in middle school, her grades are “more important”.

    My mom is always talking about how I don’t do chores (which I do) and how I’m always in my room (which I’m not). My mom said really mean things about me, and talked about my sister and her grades. Hello, I have the same grades, thank you very much.

    My mom doesn’t understand. I’ve tried to tell her about this many times, but she just says “I give you attention!” (BS!) and “well, we should just go do something, the two of us” (which, when we tried, she did something with my other siblings first, which was a concert with my older sister and then a mini-cruise with my younger sister). What did my mom and I do? She bought me new painting stuff. WITH my sisters. Wow, that really was a “fun time!” (the concert tickets and the mini-cruise tickets happened to be almost twice as much as she spent on me; and my sisters were there while I was picking stuff out!!!)

    I just hate it, and with only one parent, it makes it even harder. I am depressed and I have this look on my face all the time (I don’t even notice I’m doing it!) and FINALLY today my mom asked what was wrong (sisters in room). I didn’t say anything because my sisters were there, so then she just walked away. She didn’t even notice I went to bed at 8p.m. last night, when I usually go to bed around 11!!!

  16. As a middle child, I had always feel like an out-cast and extra. No one seem to bother anything about me at all, not even the good stuff I did.
    My parents always assume that I’m the weakest among the kids. Eventhough they had tried their best to give me all the love they could to protect me from getting hurt as a middle child, but deep inside me, I always feel that they are just pretending to love me. All they really care about is my older sister. No matter how they complain about how spoilt she is, they’ll always find her funny, playful, adorable.
    There will always be a smile on their faces whenever they’ll talking to her. However, when it comes to me, they’ll often seem un-interested. I could just stop talking half way and they would not even notice it. Both my siblings always seems to be the cooler and better looking kid in everbody’s eyes (relatives, family friends). Whenever anyone came to visit our place, they’ll only talk to both of them, and didn’t seem to know my existence.
    There was once when I was little, my aunt brought clothes for both my siblings instead of me. She even admit that she had forgotten that my mum actually has 2 daugthers.

  17. i am a 55 a middle child of my younger brother and older brother.they are in relationships i am single.I have been left out of many family funtions.ans I am a very nice person maybe i try to hard??? i feel very alone feeling very sad .even when my brothers werent in relationships i was left out.this has been going on as long as i can remember!!.I am trying to get out off a relationship that is really bad for me verbly abusive ,but i keep wanting to go going back the rejection from them makes it hard for me. My X always gets me at week moments..I need my familys love monatary my mother is good.. its like out off gilt..I dont CARE about montary. I just want their love and too be mother favors them big time..I miss my dad..passed away 8 years ago it got worse after he was gone…Deb

  18. I too am a middle child. Now I am 15 and always being put in the back seat compared to my older brother and younger sister. It has recently become very apparent that I am not the favorite child. My brother is now a freshman in college, and my parents spend most of their time fussing over him not getting what they would call “good grades.” They seem to flip put over him getting one bad test grade, but even when I come home from school saying I got a bad grade on a prject or something, I get nothing. Evern though it is negative attention he isgetting, it is still attention and I crave that more than anything. And this happens even with my younger sister. Being the only girl, she is very spoiled, and she is extra spoiled because she is the youngest. When she comes home with a good grade, my parents act like she won an award, but when I get a good grade on a test in my honors classes that I have to try very hard for, nothing. Whenever I have brought this up, they too tell me to suck it up and get on with my life. The only real rimes I’ve ever felt praised for doing well is from my grandparents, because my own parents are too busy worrying about my siblings to care about me. All I’m saying is that I want for the unfairness to end so that I don’t have to feel like this anymore.

  19. Hi I am Gillian and I am 13 years old, I am a middle child and so far my life sucks, I play soccer and I do not think I am good at all, even though we one every game in the season I didn’t get one good job! Neither my older sister or younger brother went to any of my games and I always go to their stuff. I am always hiding in my room, fighting with my siblings or parents. At one time I was threatening moving out at the age if 10. Of coarse I didn’t, I am sensitive and get shot down easily my self confidence is always low. I’m shy and don’t have a best friend. I love kids beyond no other and spend my weekends babysitting, not my younger sibling. So I have a boring life and not good at anything. People say my hair always look good or I’m pretty but I know I’m not, I don’t have the umf people want from people because I am quiet and am scared of saying something wrong.

  20. I am middle child too. And I was sent away to a different state in my country just so that my parents could boast to their friends I lived up to standards set by my brother. And the younger sister always got attention and love. When I fought for attention I was told to suck it up. And later on NOW my parents are adamant that they NEVER treated me differently. Its a lie! and its time to give it back to them. How? by denying happiness to myself so they learn it hard way. Now YOU suck it up! I have had enough!

  21. Hey, I’m a middle child to, I totally can relate to everything you say. I’m 20 attending a city school while my older brother and younger sis are in ivy status schools lol.I’m definitely not the pride of the family but I’m the only one who gets paid to be there lol. I think this is a partial cause for my anxiety disorder tho.

  22. I am the youngest in my family and I only have one sibling, so I was very surprised to learn about the experiences of being a middle child. Dalton Conley, author of “The Pecking Order,” found that middle children are “25 percent less likely to be sent to a private school than they were before, and they’re five times more likely to be held back a grade.”

    This is a legitimate problem for children among millions of families, so I’m glad that it was brought into my awareness.

    I was so inspired by this website, I published an article on my blog,, about birth order and the effects on middle children. For those that aren’t middle children, the plight of the middle child is real!

  23. i am 28, middle child of 5 girls!!! my older sis and younger sis are only 1 year apart from me. i hate my mom and i hate my self because no matter how much i want to move on, i can’t, i found myself craving for her attention or at least getting similar treatment as my other sisters. i was a naughty kid when i was young, i got punished a lot. now i pretty much know why… middle child syndrome is real. and i wish there is a cure!!!
    my 2 older sister are married, 2 younger are not married, and i am getting married this october. if you can only imagine what i am going through right now…. :'(

    i guess it is true, favoritism is a gift, i can’t never earn it.

  24. Wow you guys make me feel alittle better about being the middle child. I’m 16 and i am the 3rd of five. I feel all by myself sometimes because the older two hang and and the younger two do as well. And my mom always takes their side on everything and then acts like she loves us all equally. And my dad is pretty much the only one who pays any attenton to me but he is overseas so it doesn’t really help. And on top of that my mom and sisters “joke” with me and when i get mad, i’m the one who can’t take a joke. I have a 4.0 in school but it’s nothing compared to my older two, I stress over my AP classes just s i can be on top and get even a little bit of attention. And when I got a job when my second oldest did that was the most attention that i ever felt in my life but then when I leave for work it’s like I’m a ghost to them. I hate being the middle child and I can’t understand why someone would treat a human beig like this. It’s horrible.

  25. I know how all of yall feel. I am 16 years old and my mom died when I was 5 and I have and older sister and a younger brother. She is about to go to college and getting all these scholorships and he is a football player. I am always by myself and I feel left out. I am the smartest out of all of us but that doesn’t matter because I never get recognized. I got the chance to get a grant and scholorship and I had to turn it in by a certain day and I told my dad and he said he will mail it in. So I keep reminding him and then when the day for it to be turned in by came up he had “forgot” it but had remembered to turn in my sister’s stuff. Everytime I talk to them they just sit there and ignore me. Now we just recently got a dog and they ignore me even more now and then they ask why I don’t like the dog. My dad don’t even have time to teach me how to drive but he has time to teach my younger brother. He also paid for them to get there permit but I had to pay for my own so my heart goes out to all the middle kids because I know how you feel because I’m also a middle kid.

  26. I know how you feel. Being a middle child is terrible. I’m a middle child and feel so sad sometimes. I tend to be overlook and it just makes me cry sometimes. I always try to achieve but all my accomplishments tend to go ignored. I am very distant from my parents and i tend to be by myself. I feel like I don’t fit in with my own family but the only positive thing about being a middle child is that it made me strive for achievement just so i can be praised at least once.

  27. hahahaha..u know…when i read this…i cry..cry a lot…but really 2 thumbs up for every middle child that has open their heart in this site…im a middle child too 3rd of 4…and i feel the same..but i guess coz now im more logically, i know what my speciality in my personality.

  28. Im the middle child i have an older sister and a younger brother and i have a lot of problems … a few things ive found is that i tend to get ganged up on when my moms not around and when theres a fight my sister always takes my brothers side and vise versa … my brother and sister always have to one up me on everything and i cant stand it! if im good at something art wise my sister has to be better … in smarts its the same way accept with my brother … i do everything i can just to get praise … i always hated sports but, i played softball just so my mom would praise me … and no matter what i do its never as good as what everyone else does … i hate it …

  29. Thank you after reading this and seeing the anger she can have we r going to try to make sure she knows she is important and not compare her as you said. We want to make sure she has her own things and not have hand me downs now that she is older. What makes her stand out more is she looks like me a little but more like my mom and her sisters look like dad so there is not a resemblance. It seem to happen like that. This site has brought things in to light fir me and with the advice hopefully she will have a better expirence. Thank you

  30. I am a mother of 3 girls. I want advice that can help with the middle child so she can grow up feeling loved and supported. She is 6 now and threatened an other girl in school because she was feeling bullied. She does not like to be bossed around by other kids. Talent comes easy to her for anything except school. I believe she has ADHD just like me. I see a lot of me in her in regards to school. She is crazy and very funny but also sneaky and I try to catch her. I remind her that there is nothing she can ever do to stop our love for her. I have to sit and do homework with her otherwise it does not get done. These stories have helped but please give me more input on how to keep the love known so she does not feel like an outcast.

    1. First of all, thank you for reading. Sad to say, I do not have any authority nor expert advice that is sure to help you. But I myself came from a family with 3 girls, me being the middle of course. So, from experience, I suggest that you avoid any harmful comments towards your child, like comparing her to the other two. Try to spend more time with her, and most importantly, treat her with respect and love. I’m sure it’ll turn out fine. And if it helps, you must know that these cases are more common than you think. Just relax and enjoy being a mom. 🙂

  31. Wow! I have always heard about being the middle child from people in a joking way, but never gave it much thought. For some reason today, I did some research and it is amazing. I am 42 years old and a middle child. Many of the traits I possess with the exception that I am focused and have been successful. I tend to be a loner, don’t latch onto people, and have problems with relationships and can’t understand why. I have always felt like an outsider, different, within my family. Many of the comments above, I can relate to as well. Thanks for the inputs above. Good luck to all of you out there. Maybe this will help me overcome some of the issues that I face in my life.

  32. I am 20 years old and a middle child.I know that being a middle child is not easy.There are times that I feel like an outcast.People always say that it seems like I’m not my parents’ daughter.My sisters are close to each other,maybe because most of the things they like are the same like music.I am given less attention.That’s probably the reason why I, most of the time,succeed with the things I do.I always want to prove myself to my family and even to others that I can be someone who they can be proud of. I believe that middle children are real achievers,independent and loving-characteristics that have to be noticed by others.

  33. Everyone’s stories are very interesting. My name is Christian, i’m 15 years old, and I’m a middle child. I’m the idependent one of my siblings. I am less needy. I like to do things on my own. I believe that many of us are built this way. My sister, the oldest, has always been a high acheiver, and due to that, I’m held to acheive also. I’m not the best in school but I am an average B student. I’m always compared to what I could’ve done. With my brother, the youngest, I’ve always been blamed for everything that he does. I’ve always felt as if I was being ignored, I ask my parents questions and they don’t reply till almost a minute later. The one thing I have always been told, and have never forgetten, that even though we may feel discouraged, compared, less loved, and ignored, nothing can change the fact that YOUR parents will always, always love you.

  34. I stumbled on this site and I want to say to everyone WAIT!!!!! I’m writing a book called THE SECRET POWER OF MIDDLE CHILDREN that will be oublished next year by Penguin and it’s all about how that neglect led to independence, creativity and loyalty! Middles have many, many, many redeeming features and there are LOADS of very successful (and famous) middles out there profiled in my book.

  35. I am a middle child. My older sister is in college and my parents are always worried and concerned with her and when they aren’t worrying about her, they are spoiling my little sister. My sister and I fight and I ALWAYS get blamed. I absolutely, right deep down to the core, hate my family life, and I too feel like dying sometimes. I am pretty weird and sometimes I think it’s because I want attention. I have a great personality (according to my friends) but it still doesn’t seem to be enough for my parents. And, I want to be a photographer. I have the eye. It is my passion. But I have been told to not pursue my dream. Now, I’m lacking the courage to move on. Everything I try fails and I’m stuck in a world where I’m compared and I can never, ever be better then “them”. It’s sad. I know I’m not alone and I guess that’s what keeps me going.

  36. Although I am not a middle child – I can see the dynamics with my own children. In fact – I tend to favor those in the middle because I know how tough it is. Birth order has a lot to do with every individual’s personality. It has a bigger impact than we realize.

  37. I’m also a middle child, 41 favortism is a gift, you can’t earn it, hard lesson to learn. Never thought I needed help until recent family dinner. I’ve always felt not good enough, growing up, compared to older smarter brother and sister. going to counseling, realizing feelings of not being part of social settings not just weird feelings but middle child syndrome. keep the faith

  38. I’m also a middle child. I’m 11 and I have older sis. and younger bro. You proally know, if your a middle child, it’s hard. But there is ALOT of great advantages. Here is some;

    Our Personality
    We Fight for What We Want
    We Stand Up for Ourselves/One Another

  39. I too am a middle child and fight with my parents constantly. My mother favors my brother to the nth degree and also the child he has. My father tends to pay more attention to my sister. It is hard and yet, it is what I have come to expect. I am more independent. The hard thing, is that when I do actually need help, it seems more of a task for my parents then when they do it for the others. I have tried to point it out to my parents and my mother turned and told me that I treat my kids differntly so I should worry about myself. It is hard, but know this……you are not alone. I won’t have a third child that I desperately want. Because I don’t want … second one, to feel like I have all my life.

  40. Debbie, first of all, you must know that you aren’t alone. There are things that we cannot change, so the least we could do is to accept them in our lives. Believe me, I know it’s tough. My advice is not to act based on your emotions alone, as it is very dangerous for us since we tend to accept any love directed towards us. I will be praying for you as well as others like us. God Bless you!

  41. Hi My name is Debbie, I am a middle child. I am 51 years old. My whole life I have been put aside, My life is the same even to this day. Growing up as a child, I was always alone. It was hard. I had no friends. My folks they needed and they took my being. They take and are still taking from me. I could never do well, All the boyfreinds I have had were no good. Both my folks couldn’t stand being together, I was the middle, I made things easy for them. I am so sad.. you know… I am alone and sad. I findly got away. I got married to a man I never loved that was 20 some years ago. We are now divorced him and I. Nothing he could do was good enough for them. My folks are still like this. My sister gets all. My brother he is the best in everything he does. I had my flower shop. I know have another business I started up myself. Sometimes I want to die… yes die. I well. I have my house now, I worked my butt off to get out away from my folks. And.. I still want to die, but not now. when the time comes for me to die I will take it yes I will. I sit in my house alone, it’s nice and quite here I don’t hear them fighting among themselves. anyways. I am a middle child, latley its been hard not to feel hatered towards my siblings. because I am not like that at all. I am a fun. loveing, caring person. I can make it on my own. But, I would love to have a someone with me. Remember…. All you need to do is love your own skin, then you’ve got it made… Hugs to all the middles out there.. xox Debbie.

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