A Middle Child Forgotten

For the first five years of my life I didn’t even know my mom, dad, or siblings. When I was three months my mom handed me off to stay with my uncle and auntie in Chicago. I stayed with them for five whole years until one day my mom popped up with the police officers and told me that she was my mom and that it was time to go home. It took me four years to cope with the big change. By the way she has treated me these past thirteen years, I wonder why she even bothered to take me from people who actually cared for me.

I am the middle child of an older sister and brother and my youngest sister and brother. My oldest sister, Lyn was always the one that could have fun with friends and go to the movies. I knew then that we were young, so I waited for my chance. My oldest sister grew older and moved out at age fifteen. My mom still spoiled her from a distance. My sister has had two cars given to her by my mom and dad.

I have an oldest brother name Gene. Gene is in college and my mom gave him a car before, but he ruined it. My mom and I always were in arguments just because I wanted to hang with the older group. I use to get in trouble for the simplest things such as staying after school or being with friends. I was the only one that seriously had a hard time.

It was mandatory that I had to cook and clean for all five of us, I had to help my mom cook on Holidays also when I didn’t want to. Everyone else were able to relax, but not me. I became impatient with waiting for things to happen that never did.

I was supposed to be the next in line to receive a car, but I became pregnant at age seventeen Honestly, I think that is no excuse because my oldest sister has a child and my mom bought her a brand new car. I am currently I senior attending high school and my mom won’t even help me get through high school so I can go to college.

My younger sister and brother, Te’Jon and Audrionna, are the two spoiled ones. They can do anything they want to do now. From what I hear, my younger sister is the next one in line to get a car. That is not fair due to the fact that I am on my way to college and doing good things for my life and she seems not to care. I feel she has abandoned my attention and also the fact the she has another child somewhere out in the world that she has forgotten.

– Phaedra

Do You have Middle Child Syndrome?

So you’re a middle child, but how do you know you have Middle Child Syndrome? We have creatively collected this survey from a list of the most common symptoms seen in an individual with Middle Child Personality. The survey is composed of questions that are arranged in in a scale from mild to dangerous symptoms.

The 10 Symptoms
(Answer Truthfully!)

  1. Do you feel alienated from your family?

  2. Do you feel alienated from your friends?

  3. Do you often lock yourself inside your room?

  4. Ever felt used by friends?

  5. Do you get easily depressed from criticism?

  6. Have you ever dreamed of something but didn’t have the courage to pursue it?

  7. Do you feel envy and even hatred towards your parents or siblings?

  8. Have you ever done things just to be accepted or noticed by others?

  9. Did you feel that you were pushed to achieve things that you did not enjoy your childhood?

  10. Ever felt that you did not belong and no one loves you and the world will be better without you?

Meaning of my scores: Count the number of YES‘s to the questions above

0-3 Congratulations! You’re perfectly normal.

4-5 You just suffer low self-esteem. Nothing weird, go fix your hair and you will do fine.

6-8 Do not be scared. It seems you have mild Middle Child Personality. Self-help and guidance will often cure the condition.

9-10 Unfortunately, you suffer a severe condition of Middle Child Syndrome, try not to do anything rash. Emotional support from love ones along with psychiatric help will solve this.

Being the Middle Child

Being a middle child really sucks. I am not generalizing this statement, because middle child syndrome is very real. It is a condition that continues to affect millions of people around the world, including me.

I hate my middle child personality, it is like a disease inside me. I have never felt I truly belonged. All the attention were given to the first and last child. I feel that everything I do goes unnoticed, sometimes it seems that I was not intended to be part of the family. Middle children are the black sheep of the family. Middle children are the outcasts. Yes, I was always aware of middle child personality, they say that middle children are underachievers and inferior compare to our siblings. I personally do not believe this. Since I was a kid, I was driven to achieve things just to be noticed. While being successful at being praised and honored, I still didn’t feel loved at all.

I think middle children are really talented individuals. Well, I’m not a professional artist, but I can say that I’m pretty artistic compared to my other siblings. But still, I always feel that there is something lacking, that feeling prevents me from pursuing my dreams and ambitions. I feel that before I can live my life, I must first move on from the past, which is very hard to do.

I am already 22 years old, still single and living on my own. I hope that all these will pass, and one day I will look at myself and be proud of who I am and what I have achieved, not for the acceptance of others, but for myself.

I strongly believe that good parenting must be practiced by all aspiring parents. In this way, unloved children like me would not continue to suffer. Middle children deserve better.

Birth Order Traits – Do I have to be affected?

Still glooming over your unlucky fate?

You shouldn’t be! Being a middle child is not only all cons, middle children are also known for their determination and passion. Here is a short list of famous middle children: Bill Gates, Madonna, Donald Trump, Princess Diana, etc. After hearing these big names, there is simply no excuse for you to be depressed.

So what can you do to move on?

First, forget about the past. Do not always bring back sad and painful memories. Instead, think of joyful memories in your childhood. Build on these thoughts and try to live a happy life.

Second, start with yourself. Do not expect everyone to immediately change to fit your needs. You should be the first to show them that you have changed. Try to show them that you care, and you will be rewarded a hundredfold.

Lastly, always put God in the center of your life. He is always there, always looking after you. Begin each day by praying, thanking God for all the gifts you have received from Him.

After following these guidelines, all you have to do is wait and you will see that everything and everyone around you will soon begin to change.

“The more difficulties one has to encounter, within and without, the more significant and the higher in inspiration his life will be.”

Horace Bushnell