Stuck at the Middle

I’m the middle of a family with 3 boys. I grew up with a younger brother bugging the ever living day light out of me, trying to be better than me (until he grew taller than me) while looking up to my older brother, who ignored me. I played with my figurines and spent much of my time day dreaming.

Because I was ignored because of my quiet nature in contrast to my hyperactive younger brother and my “must have everything according to schedule” older brother, I seemed to be high maintenance demanding attention through actions and money from my parents. My younger brother has a larger bone structure than me and my older brother is taller than me. I seem to make up for this by having expensive taste in clothes. I used to get into arguments which usually ended in my father hitting me.

I’ve never been good at making friends and freeze and let a chance pass by me when I have a chance of meeting a girl. I joined the army which didn’t help and almost had a suicidal mental breakdown after spending 14 weeks in unbearable conditions only to fail the last test because I lacked command presence

I’m now 24 moved away from home (to another country) unemployed struggling to get a job a creative writing type of field and trying to bring up a shred of confidence at a job interview in order to survive and I escape reality with whatever entertainment I can find.

Is there no better text book example of middle child syndrome? It is scary to think my life has been somewhat set on a path or decided in accordance to the order in which I was born.

Sam

My Middle Child Story

Hi, my name is Shannon. I’m a girl (DUH!) I am 13 years old and I am the middle child out of 5 girls. My parents want me to be like my older sisters, nice and perfect. My 3 younger sisters constantly get on my nerves and get me in trouble on purpose because they know I have a short-temper and my parents believe them over me.

My Mom and Dad went shopping one day and bought my older sisters new laptops and a mini fridge for their section of the basement and they got my little sisters each a Disney themed bouncy ball and didn’t get me anything at all. No joke! I always feel left out. Like no one likes me. My friends use me and pick on me because my parents home-school me (No, my Mom and Dad DON’T help me with my school work, I have to do everything for myself) and won’t let me have a phone when my NOT too much older sisters have phones. I’m teased and neglected and I have a few issues that I need to vent about, but my parents won’t get me to a counselor.

I know my parents love me, but they don’t show it very well. I have to do more chores than my sisters because they are too lazy and my 10 year old little sister is apparently too young. I was not allowed to wear makeup until I was 13, but my younger sister can. I can’t go on certain websites, yet my little and older sisters can! I can’t go see something PG, but guess what? MY FUCKING LITTLE BITCHY SISTERS CAN! I’m sorry! I just can’t stand it anymore. I’ve often thought of suicide, but I’m afraid. I even feel like God’s given up on me. I guess I’m an ugly, always-in-trouble girl. :( Please give me SOME advice!

Shannon

My Life as a Middle Child

Well I have 2 older sisters and two younger sisters I am the middle child. My life as a middle child has not been happy and I guess will never be until I am on my own and move far far away! Here’s my story: When I was really young like at the age of 6, maybe 7 was when I realized how tough it is to be a middle child. It was when my sisters decided to play a game involving teams well my eldest sister teamed up with my youngest sister and my other 2 sisters teamed up and I couldn’t play because I didn’t have a team mate! So i just sat on the side and watch my sister’s laugh and play while I sat and wish to not be the middle child the one left out the forgotten one. The older I got the more I realized I didn’t actually fit in with my family. My older sisters got all the attention I wanted from my mom and my two younger ones got away with anything. Megan whom is 2 yrs younger than me and isn’t the baby but acts like one use to and still does pretend that I hurt her or said something and of course my dad would believe her she never got in trouble for anything. I on the other hand was blamed for anything and everything that was done wrong. When my eldest sister moved out and my 2nd older sister Caroline took over and became the suck up 2 my mom. I am fixing to turn 16 and I am begging for my mom’s attention yet she doesn’t care. Because Caroline is so attached to my mom she doesn’t even know I exist!!

My parents never came to any of my award ceremony’s none of my school orientation nothing! The reason why was because my older sisters had went to their school orientation’s and my parents came to theirs so they said that they knew what is going to be about therefore it was pointless to go! Well since they didn’t go 2 my 6th grade school orientation on the first day of 6th grade I had no idea where my classroom was or where to go I walked around hopelessly until the principal saw me and said i was late for my class and lecture me on how I shouldn’t be late on the first day of school then he finally pointed me in the direction I needed to go. Oh and in 7th grade when I won a scholarship to the community college for free since my older sister got one my parents didn’t even go to my ceremony that was a big deal because it was about my outstanding excellence in academics and that’s why I won it! But they didn’t care they wouldn’t waste the time to go to something if they went to it with the older ones! But get this my younger sister Megan when she was going into middle school for the first time my parents went to her 6th grade school orientation!! But they didn’t go to MINE!!!

I try everything to gain some attention from my parents but fail at it every time! I do so well in school but they don’t care. I brought home straight A’s and my mom looked at my report card and said ok? But my younger sister brought her card home and made 3 F’s and one D so my mom goes “Oh my god honey you did so good!! Since you did well on your report card you get to choose where to eat tonight.” I was like WTF?? I make straight A’s and get an ok and she brings home F’s and a D and she gets congratulated!!

It really sucks being the middle child. Being the one that gets blamed for everything, being the one who is neglected, being the one who is left out the one whom everyone thinks is the trouble maker the one who they think is a mistake. I still feel like sometimes I was adopted and I want to believe that but i know it’s not true it’s just a sad little lie I tell myself to make myself feel better. It’s really hard on me because i push myself so far that I am at the breaking part to try to impress my parents! I have learned to be completely self motivated because my parents don’t push me to do anything but be like my other sisters they always compare to my other sisters and ask why I can’t be more like them why I can’t be act like them why I can’t just be like them NEWSFLASH I’M NOT THEM I AM ME!!

On my 15 birthday I didn’t even get a birthday cake, a card, gift NOTHING! Because on my birthday it was the day of my older sister Caroline’s Prom so I didn’t even get a happy birthday from my mom or dad, So you know what I had to do I took myself into the kitchen and got one of those Debbie cake cupcakes then I got a candle lit it and had a b-day party all by myself I sat at the counter crying over my cupcake wishing I had someone who actually cared for me.

I am not sure if being the middle child makes you stronger or weaker I believe it makes you stronger for the fact that my dad hit me across the face once because I started off to him I didn’t cry I stood there and took it but my older sister once when he yelled at her for something she started bawling and whining. I can take way more than my sisters there so weak and so fragile but I am stronger than them I can take the heat I can stand there and take someone screaming at me and not even flinch!

I have became way more independent ever since I was 10 years old and my parents left me at home and took my sisters with them because I told them I didn’t want to go to the stupid parade with them because my sisters each got a dollar and I didn’t get one because my older sister swore I took money from her and I didn’t so my punishment was that I didn’t get a dollar to spend at the parade well I stayed home alone while they went and spent like 4 hours at the parade! I had to cook supper for myself so I went in and cook peas, mac-&-cheese with nuggets I learned from then on that I would be defending for myself for the rest of my life and that is just how I have been doing since then.

Being a middle child shouldn’t be like this i shouldn’t have had to felt sorry for myself and sometime pack my bags then climb out my window and plan to leave and go somewhere else where I would be loved. I shouldn’t have had to pray to God that he would take me outta this world. Or believe that I was adopted I shouldn’t have to go through all of this NO ONE should!!! It’s quite sad how much trauma it is on a middle child yet everyone just believes that we are just jealous and wanting attention and always think about themselves!

GUESS WHAT?????? They are partly right! We do want attention really bad and if they show some to us we wouldn’t want it as bad!! We DO get jealous I am not going to lie we do but it’s for the fact that our siblings get stuff we don’t have they either gets treated like angels and we are the demons or they get all the attention and we would just die to have one day in their shoes!! Also middle child people don’t have the time to think about themselves because there to busy thinking about how they could get their parents attention and at least some affection!!

I HAVE AN IDEA 4 PEOPLE WHO THINK THAT MIDDLE CHILD PEOPLE ARE THESE TYPES OF PEOPLE HOW ABOUT YOU TRY 2 AT LEAST IMAGINE BEING THE ONE LEFT OUT THE ONE NO ONE CARES ABOUT THE ONE WHO HAS TO DEFEND FOR THEMSELVES THE ONES EVERYONE HATES!!!!!!!!!! TRY THAT BEFORE YOU SAY ANYTHING!

Kam

At the Middle

I’ve “always” known to be and feel “different”.

What a burden it’s been and continues to be so even at my age now. My older brother and the eldest, my sister, were popular at school, clever, good fun, well informed and with real friends. I was anything but unable to know who I am or how to make lasting friends, always thought that I am stupid, teacher tied my left hand behind my back every morning to prevent me using/writing with my right hand, I was 7, This caused me much humiliation and embarrassment, it made me feel even more self conscious.

I craved attention and to be heard or noticed, when I did receive any input I usually blew it, the attention went to my head. Weak, pleasing personality and I despised myself at times. Somehow I never truly succeed, all my life I have always been second best but that’s my own doing because I am now incapable of ever putting myself first so I very often fail.

Believe me I have tried to change, but nothing works.

I do have my happy and good moments but I never quite fit in and feel that I am on the peripheral.

I am “pleasing” another word would be weak, boring, unable to question or challenge very much, always afraid of being rejected, so I developed a “pleasing” nature with my Mum in order to survive, I must have got on her nerves terribly.

I’m OK, But I have also been selfish and cruel by lacking much understanding and being naive and ignorant in the past. I could put my signature as “Loser” but I don’t want to down myself any more.

I could leave the past and guilt alone if my life was good now; I guess I just have got to live with this low self esteem, not a lot to be proud of – eh

Mary

Hand-Me-Down

When it comes to going shopping as a middle child, life is made easy. There is no need to make that awful trek to the shopping center and have your mother force you to try things on for hours, opening the curtain in the changing room when you’re not ready, and calling your name when you take too long to change. No. Us middle children do not have to go any further than our sibling’s closet upstairs. No changing room, no schlepping bags, no tags that you forget to take off before you wear it, and the best thing of all…. one size fits all. Well, actually it’s more like “this size fits all”. Welcome to middle child shopping. Why buy new clothes when my sister’s clothes almost fit me?

Hand-me-downs, otherwise defined as discarded, used clothing passed along from one person to another, is common in the world of middle children. We get used to it after a while and eventually start looking forward to the seasonal turnover of our older sibling’s wardrobes. In this time, a large pile of clothing is brought to our rooms for us to sift through and take whatever we like. However, experience has taught me, that there is always going to be something in the pile that was there by mistake (and is obviously the best hand-me-down you ever got), and when the older sibling see’s you wearing it for the first time they realize that they still want it, and force you to give it up even though they didn’t seem to miss it from their closets until they saw you wearing it…

I must admit that there were occasions in which I was lucky enough to get a new dress. For some reason family celebrations meant my two older sisters and I had to wear matching dresses. Why? That I’m not so sure about, but if it meant me getting new clothes, I would suffer the giant pink flowers that were almost as big as my face, and the itchy petty-coats that made the dress puff out wider than my arm’s width. At least everybody saw me as an individual…

Zulu