Hi, my name is Sandra but I go by my middle name Desiree I’m 22 yrs old. My brother is 3 years older than me. I have a younger sister who is 18.

Growing up my brother and I had a horrible childhood. My dad always drank and hit us. He beat up my mom and called her a bitch. He would call me a whore and I was only 12 years old. Meanwhile my sister would witness everything. He never told her anything because she was his spitting image. He loved her and in my entire life I only saw him hit her twice.

At 15, I had my first boyfriend and saw him at school in secret. Somehow, my mom and dad found out and they would call me a bitch. Slut whore a fucking disgrace. My dad disowned me at this age because I had a boyfriend. To this day we don’t talk. Well, years later my brother dropped out of high school. I graduated high school, have a technical certificate. I still want to go to college and be something to be very proud of. I’m the first in my family to do all this.

Meanwhile my mom was kicking me out and telling me to get the fuck out of her house. She would tell me that I aint doing shit with my life. So I left. I now live on my own and pay my own bills.

For these past 2 years I have been depressed and spend the entire day in my room. I could spend all day in bed. This depression, low self esteem, and anger have me feeling crazy. I’m only 22 but I’m emotionally drained and sometimes have no reason to live. I am jobless and all my family says is that I’m lazy.

Oh, by the way my 18 year old sister has brought men to the house. Slept with them there and my mom doesn’t say a thing. I told her that why doesn’t she stop my sisters behavior. She laughs and says “oh its cuz she’s strong willed and a badass”. My brother has also had women over and nobody tells him a thing. They just smile and are proud that he brings so many women to the house. I’m the only person in the family to have such achievements and they aren’t recognized it’s sad. I’m the middle child and have always been treated bad. My brother is the rebellious one and my little sister is spoiled rotten.

I’ve asked my mom why they treated me bad and she says I’m lying. She’s said that I’m just hysterical and that everything I remember is a lie.

So for these past 4 day i have decided to not talk to my family. They are toxic. They hurt me so much and all I ever wanted was love and a stable family. I think it’s time I disown them.