Being a middle child really makes me frustrated. Mostly when you have a big sister and a little sister. I always think that my big sister likes my little sister better than me. Maybe because the youngest child gets mature faster. My big sister is always telling her to do her favors. Whenever I ask of why she doesn’t make me do favors, she says that she doesn’t trust me. My big sister believes that I am the incompetent one. She thinks that my little sister does everything best.
During weekends when me and my family hang out, my dad is always telling me to go with my mom everywhere. “Dena, go to your mother and her relatives in a car home. Your sisters and I will take a taxi ride together home.” says my dad. Sometimes I feel left out and that nobody likes me in the family. I don’t even think my dad likes me that much. He is always wanting to be with my other sisters and pushing me aside to my mom. Once, my dad only wanted my sisters to come with him at grocery shopping. “Dad! Why can’t I come with you?” I say. “Just stay with your mother. Your sisters are the ones that know how to carry the groceries.” says my dad.
I believe that the middle child syndrome affects how I learn. The embarrassing thing is that, my sisters know how to speak Chinese fluently and I just suck at it. My little sister is always showing off. I believe that she is always better than me at everything. She is the talkative one and to strangers and I’m the quiet shy one. I’m also the one that doesn’t have a deep voice. My little sister’s voice is deeper than mines and everyone makes fun of me. Even my sisters do. In the car, my little sister is sitting next to my big sister talking and I’m just the one next to the car door staring outside of the window not talking.
Many people in my family don’t realize that I try so hard to get my attention. I always scream out loud in my house saying, “NO ONE LIKES ME!” When ever I make an achievement, no one seems to care. I try so hard to make achievements so people in my family will like me again. Everyday, I just think I’m in everyone’s way in the family.
All I can say is, my parents suck. They don’t make my siblings and I treated equally. They treat my sisters a billion times more special than I. I hate being the middle child and because I always get blamed for everything.
To all of the middle children that feel the same way, good luck to you because it’s going to bite you on the butt for the rest of your life. Most people say the middle child are always the under achievers. Well to my opinion, to those who think that, there are many people born middle that I know. People such as Donald Trump, Julia Roberts or, Tim Allen were born as middle children.
So, even though the middle children don’t get as much attention or they are often called as under achievers, well I believe that we might get bothered when we are younger but, we are actually smart and trying hard. Maybe we might turn out as better than our siblings. What do you think?
– Dena
Samir
I agree with Garret but I have two brothers that’s it. I make an achievement and my parents end up just throwing the certificate away but with my older and younger brothers they get a special recognition from my parents and tell me why can’t I get a achievement. I work all the time at my parents bussiness working my butt off and my older brother doesn’t even go, but he still gets stuff for being the oldest and I have to take his junk as hand me downs. The other day my mom gave me a coat that my older bro was wearing for two years that was all grimy and disgusting, she forced me to wear it for a year and half.
Garrett
I absolutely understand. I am a middle child, too, and this happens to me constantly, but with 4 siblings instead of two. It’s horrible. My oldest brother and youngest brother are treated like kings. My twin brother (40 minute older.. Not much of a difference in age but I think it still affects me..) is treated a hundred times better, a well as my sister, too. I have better grades than all of them and I play football and soccer, but it doesn’t help me get attention. My mother always pushes my important plans aside for the slightest uprise in events for my other siblings. I missed eighth grade graduation because my mom wanted to go to my sister’s field trip with her, and many other things have happened like that. I feel bad for you and I hope you become more successful in life than your other sisters!
Dark
I can relate to your life so much. First of all my parents hate me like crazy and I know it. I get the best marks and all they do is smile. When my big or young brother gets a good mark but lower than mine, they congratulate him and be happy for him. I always get medals, trophies, and certificates but they never seem to care. They don’t even look at them. They say I am a cry baby because I always cry, but I can’t help my over-sensitivity. I am also the one who is getting the blame. My brother hits me and I do nothing, I get blamed because he picked up this discipline from me, which is incorrect because I hate hitting. I do Youtube videos and I find them pretty good and hard to make, but my parents say nothing about it. The only person who likes my work in my family is… me. They don’t even watch it. My cousin once saw it and he said he liked it, but they keep teasing me about it and about how I’m good at English (We are Arab). I am kind of the best in English when it comes to family and cousins, but they seem to tease me and say I should go live in America, which I wish to do. My big brother got a room on his own when he was grade 7. I am now grade 8 and I still share a room with my 8 year old brother who is always annoying me. The only alone time I have is when studying and in the bathroom. I keep telling my parents I want a room and they just say its hard work to move everything to another room. Also, my small brother keeps crying about the thought of me getting a new room. I need a room alone. I want alone time. I like being alone more than with people, more than with my family precisely. My friends don’t help either. They are either not kind, selfish, or just jerks. My best friend is becoming a spoiled jerk lately and I can’t break up with him because we are attached. Nobody understands me and no one ever will. I just act like I don’t care about what anyone says about my Youtube videos, being stupid and childish as they say.
Jackson
I am a middle child and I am adopted it kinda sucks. I am surprised that no one has mentioned having to help dumber siblings with home work. Worst thing ever. Because my sister would essentially want me to do her homework and then when I said no and showed her how to do it instead she would get mad cry and I would get in trouble And then after I got yelled at and had to essentially tell her what each answer was do I get a thanks for getting me an A on the paper? No I get a you didn’t even do anything.
mattzweck
i feel the same except im oldest brother except i have 2 brothers and sisters my oldest sister and me and youngest brother still live with our parents me and my sis pay rent. but heres the thing i ask my dad if could help me buy parts and build a computer. instead he’s going to build a computer for my youngest brother. than my oldest sister gets all the attention. and me just stuff for work. then if i want cool stuff either i have to save up for it or clean my room. i feel left out.
then if i want to help out my youngest bro say i want to do it my self
my oldest sis doesn’t trust me. or she yells at me. oldest sis is nice to my youngest bro but not to me.
mattz
I fell your pain I’m also the middle child older sister younger brother. It feels like nobody really cares if I’m around just do your chores. And be quite. And I also have a disability like my sister does. But one thing I think middle child is more independent and can do more things on their own. That’s why I think parents get on them more to take more responsibility. So just keep it up the good work and some day it’ll be your turn.
Danica
I feel the same way as you guys. But I’m actually the smart one in the family but whenever I get an achievement my parents don’t give a crap or they say, ‘oh you had 4 last year why do you only have 2 this year?’. I just feel so unappreciated. I also have a big sister and a little sister and my big sister is always swearing at me and hitting me whenever I walk past her. My little sister is picking up on this behaviour, she starts a fight and as I am the older one I try to discipline her so she will stop but then she crys and I get all the blame. They don’t care about me at all. They always judge me since I am bigger than everyone in my family and they hate it whenever I do something creative like making a bag, I’m 14 for goodness sake, I didn’t ask for any help and I did it by myself. They just look at me like I’m an alien. I’m the one who always helps them. I’m the one who gets the better grades. I’m the one who has more common sense than my other sisters. Where is the thanks for being the responsible child?
Jane
Well I totally agree with you I feel like I am the middle child. my older brother and my sister who is 2 years younger than me always make of me and they do it in front of my cousins and they make fun of me too. It is so embarrassing and my parents just think I tell on them all of the time. Even though I am 15 years old and I am very sensitive because what they say it hurts and I don’t know what to say and when I say something back to them they make fun of me more. I just can’t take it anymore I work so hard in school, I have friends and a good social life but my two siblings always say you have no life and why do you hurt the dogs and well it is not my fault why the dogs need a walk. I just grabbed the dogs collar and my mom does the same thing. It is so annoying because I do most of the chores in the house and I always help my mom and dad. But my little sister can be spoiled sometimes but she is so nice to me and I am so grateful for that. Thank dena for sharing your story I can totally relate.
C.lin
I live in a family with two older sisters and one younger brother, my family believes that the boys are important because they carry the family name and my two older sisters are the special ones. My aunt made it very clear when my brother ask about why no one ask about my love life and my aunt said that because your the boy whose going to carry the family name while your sister would be married off to another man. I can tell there is favorism in my family as I greet my grandma she immediately looked around and asked me where was my brother instead of replying back to me. This made me feel really insignificant as my aunt complained in front of me that I can’t speak or understand Chinese like my siblings when I remind them over and over again that I can understand what they say. What my parents done always made me think ‘why can’t I be myself??’ as they always compare me with my sisters saying you should work harder like her or do this like her and even go into the same university as them. I love my family but they make me think about the future for example when I get married, would it be fair for my husband to be the 3rd place in my family, would his parents want him to marry the 3rd child and that if I’m any good enough to be with someone. This considerably lowered my self esteem as I know that I might be the 3rd child in the family, but I’ll always be last since my brother is the youngest and the only boy so I’m pushed to the bottom of the family.
Kim
Well my problem is way diffrent….im the middle of seven kids and everything seems to be my fault….everytime something goes wrong or something bad happens its my fault I dnt even have to be around but its my fault its hard dealin with this it makes me wanna jus take my kids and run as far as I can…..
Scarlette
Welcome to my life! I can relate to your life sooooooo much. I’m 14 and I understand what you mean with all your situations. Middle child syndrome IS REAL!!!!!
MaskBerg
Oh, I truly recognize myself in your story. Despite having to most certificates (like swimming-diploma) and the first one to pass from middle school (my big sister was never able to), going to university and stuff, they never praised me.
Those achievements aren’t really great, but if you surpass your big sister for something she can’t, then it would be nice to at least get some praising.
I also get blamed for everything. When my little sister would hit me (we were normal siblings who would fight over things occasionally, but for one reason, I always got the first blow), I would yell of course. Then my mother would hit me, for yelling. Not asking why I yelled in the first place. If I hit my sister back, I get hit by my parents again for hitting my little sister.
I also know my parents don’t love me as much as my other sisters: my father tend to love my older sister more, while my mother would stand at the side by my younger one.
It’s nice to know that I am not the only person who is less loved by the parents, despite their claims that they love their children equally.
Kc
I feel the exact same way!! I get blamed for everything and I would love to know how to fix this problem if anyone could comment and help people like us who suffer from middle child syndrome an also why is it the middle child?
Hailey
Thank you Dena, for sharing your story with us. I can relate very well to what you are saying, considering I also have a younger sister. And of course, middle children are always if not most of the time, better than their siblings. We are indeed achievers, I can assure you this. Let’s just keep your heads up and make the most of it!