A Beautiful Community

I am a middle child. When I read the posts here, I can relate to them from the core of my soul. I often wondered, family patterns and cultures vary across different parts of the world, but some things are universal, like us middle children.

I have experienced all or most the symptoms associated with middle child syndrome. I was always made to feel like an ugly duckling of the family. Whenever I played a game, I wasn’t applauded. When I excelled in school, it was a not a big thing. When I dressed up for a party, I was always made to feel like a clown, even though I was well dressed. My eating habits were also picked upon; I could not get a morsel down my throat because my heart was heavy. If I continue narrating my saga, then it will take a major part of your time.
Now, I am a married woman with two lovely kids and a very caring husband. All of them know about the trauma I went through and they pamper me like a child. All you middle children, I just want you to know that God has a way of balancing things. I now have a wonderful family.

There is so much maternal instinct in me, that I still feel connected to all of you on this board. Kids, be happy and joyful. I am a mother, but I still have the middle child inside of me, only this time the pain is much less, because I have a lovely family.

Never ever think that nobody cares for you, I care for all of you. To all middle children, we are not weird, we are unique. We are not abnormal, we are above normal. We are not eccentric, we are exclusive. God bless you all!

A point to add here is that some people who have come on this board have stated that even though they were middle children, they grew up normally. Good for them, but let them not dilute or simplify what middle children go through.

Anyways, middle children, we are a beautiful community.

Alice

Hoping for a Better Life

Hi, I’m Gina, I’m 20 yrs old. I’m the second child among my four siblings and everyone in my family thinks I’m a useless person.

My life was like “why you can’t be like your sister?”, “why you always being so childish?”

I love arts, very much. But my parents won’t let me further my studies because my sister couldn’t make it into university and they assume the I’m same too, will never make it. As my brother turn 17 this year and he wanted to study law. My mum started to put every effort and support so she can get him into a good school.

I have changed numerous jobs because I just don’t get want I really want and I don’t even know what I want. This really destroys my resumes and often got rejected. Now I have spent full time teaching myself drawing. But whenever my sister saw me drawing she started to say I will never succeed and I’m wasting my time. I complaint to my mum about it she just reply I’m such a troublemaker.

I just feel this world is so unfair. I wanted to run away from home. I did think about commit suicide but I’m too afraid.
Even romance don’t work well on me. Guys just flee off when they came to know that I never been in relationship before. You can guess I’m a lone wolf. I just want a better life.

Sorry for my bad English as it was not my native language.

Gina

A Middle Child Forgotten

For the first five years of my life I didn’t even know my mom, dad, or siblings. When I was three months my mom handed me off to stay with my uncle and auntie in Chicago. I stayed with them for five whole years until one day my mom popped up with the police officers and told me that she was my mom and that it was time to go home. It took me four years to cope with the big change. By the way she has treated me these past thirteen years, I wonder why she even bothered to take me from people who actually cared for me.

I am the middle child of an older sister and brother and my youngest sister and brother. My oldest sister, Lyn was always the one that could have fun with friends and go to the movies. I knew then that we were young, so I waited for my chance. My oldest sister grew older and moved out at age fifteen. My mom still spoiled her from a distance. My sister has had two cars given to her by my mom and dad.

I have an oldest brother name Gene. Gene is in college and my mom gave him a car before, but he ruined it. My mom and I always were in arguments just because I wanted to hang with the older group. I use to get in trouble for the simplest things such as staying after school or being with friends. I was the only one that seriously had a hard time.

It was mandatory that I had to cook and clean for all five of us, I had to help my mom cook on Holidays also when I didn’t want to. Everyone else were able to relax, but not me. I became impatient with waiting for things to happen that never did.

I was supposed to be the next in line to receive a car, but I became pregnant at age seventeen Honestly, I think that is no excuse because my oldest sister has a child and my mom bought her a brand new car. I am currently I senior attending high school and my mom won’t even help me get through high school so I can go to college.

My younger sister and brother, Te’Jon and Audrionna, are the two spoiled ones. They can do anything they want to do now. From what I hear, my younger sister is the next one in line to get a car. That is not fair due to the fact that I am on my way to college and doing good things for my life and she seems not to care. I feel she has abandoned my attention and also the fact the she has another child somewhere out in the world that she has forgotten.

– Phaedra

My Middle Child Story

Hi, my name is Shannon. I’m a girl (DUH!) I am 13 years old and I am the middle child out of 5 girls. My parents want me to be like my older sisters, nice and perfect. My 3 younger sisters constantly get on my nerves and get me in trouble on purpose because they know I have a short-temper and my parents believe them over me.

My Mom and Dad went shopping one day and bought my older sisters new laptops and a mini fridge for their section of the basement and they got my little sisters each a Disney themed bouncy ball and didn’t get me anything at all. No joke! I always feel left out. Like no one likes me. My friends use me and pick on me because my parents home-school me (No, my Mom and Dad DON’T help me with my school work, I have to do everything for myself) and won’t let me have a phone when my NOT too much older sisters have phones. I’m teased and neglected and I have a few issues that I need to vent about, but my parents won’t get me to a counselor.

I know my parents love me, but they don’t show it very well. I have to do more chores than my sisters because they are too lazy and my 10 year old little sister is apparently too young. I was not allowed to wear makeup until I was 13, but my younger sister can. I can’t go on certain websites, yet my little and older sisters can! I can’t go see something PG, but guess what? MY FUCKING LITTLE BITCHY SISTERS CAN! I’m sorry! I just can’t stand it anymore. I’ve often thought of suicide, but I’m afraid. I even feel like God’s given up on me. I guess I’m an ugly, always-in-trouble girl. :( Please give me SOME advice!

Shannon

Hand-Me-Down

When it comes to going shopping as a middle child, life is made easy. There is no need to make that awful trek to the shopping center and have your mother force you to try things on for hours, opening the curtain in the changing room when you’re not ready, and calling your name when you take too long to change. No. Us middle children do not have to go any further than our sibling’s closet upstairs. No changing room, no schlepping bags, no tags that you forget to take off before you wear it, and the best thing of all…. one size fits all. Well, actually it’s more like “this size fits all”. Welcome to middle child shopping. Why buy new clothes when my sister’s clothes almost fit me?

Hand-me-downs, otherwise defined as discarded, used clothing passed along from one person to another, is common in the world of middle children. We get used to it after a while and eventually start looking forward to the seasonal turnover of our older sibling’s wardrobes. In this time, a large pile of clothing is brought to our rooms for us to sift through and take whatever we like. However, experience has taught me, that there is always going to be something in the pile that was there by mistake (and is obviously the best hand-me-down you ever got), and when the older sibling see’s you wearing it for the first time they realize that they still want it, and force you to give it up even though they didn’t seem to miss it from their closets until they saw you wearing it…

I must admit that there were occasions in which I was lucky enough to get a new dress. For some reason family celebrations meant my two older sisters and I had to wear matching dresses. Why? That I’m not so sure about, but if it meant me getting new clothes, I would suffer the giant pink flowers that were almost as big as my face, and the itchy petty-coats that made the dress puff out wider than my arm’s width. At least everybody saw me as an individual…

Zulu